The Fan Above

The fan above my head.

The fan above my bed.

The fan above I dread.

Many nights in my half-awake slumber, I look up and see the menacing five-blade fan light above our bed. It calls to me and causes me to act in ways I cannot explain rationally. But then again I am asleep, mostly...

A few years ago I started having sleep related awakenings, where I would wake up, but not really be awake. I am essentially in a dream while I am conscious of my surroundings. I think this is because my eyes are open. But, somehow my mind is still going off the world of the dream and as we all know in dreams, anything goes.

The freakiest one for me came when I would go out to my car at work to take a nap. I was still in school and single, so I never got enough sleep. I was in the driver's seat and the car started rolling. I could not move to grab the wheel or slam on the brakes. All I could do was watch as I helplessly tried to force my body awake. But alas, the car was not really moving. It was just the craziness of the dream world taking over. I learned my lesson after that. I would only sleep in the passenger seat. Now that I think about it, was that really smarter?

There have been a couple of movies which give me the impression that if you die in your dream, you die in real life. One was Dreamscape with David Patrick Kelley and Dennis Quaid (in that order). The other movie was the Matrix. "The body cannot live without the mind." I am not sure if the Matrix counts since it is not really dreaming. Or is it?

But back to our ceiling fan. The other day I was standing on the bed to get up there to do something with the fan. Knowing that I was not really awake, this really freaked my wife out.

I was telling my wife that I wanted to put some ribbon up there and study it for awhile when awake. The theory is that when I am in this dream state, seeing the ribbon will help me see how ridiculous it all is and just go back to sleep. But I don't know. The ribbon could come to life, crawl up to the top and undo the fan support causing the ceiling fan to come crashing down on our legs.

I know these instances seem silly, but in the dream it all makes sense. There is something about that fan hanging above our beds, whether it is oscillating or not, that just makes it a perfect vehicle of sabotage. And this brings me to the game aspect of the dream. Somehow and in some way, a game is going on in these dreams. Like, little people the size of ants are teaming up against us and, like gremlins, are messing with our electronics. Or it may not be little people at all. It may be the electronics themselves. Or it is normal size people, but somehow they control things in the room while we are not in there.

Many times I am concerned about my wife in this half awake dream state. I will continually ask her if she is okay. Over and over again. I suppose I am really concerned about her safety. Add to that the fact that she is pregnant right now and it only serves to make the paranoia worse.

I am sure you are wondering if I am cuckoo, but it is a dream. The problem is that it is a dream that is making its way into the real world. I suppose that is every dream's goal.

The (Not So) Classic Western

Silverado is on right now and it is one of those movies that everyone loves. I am not sure why, but I love it too. Maybe it is because it has modern day actors in it... from the 80's. It is probably because Kevin Costner is so youthful and energetic. Maybe it is because Danny Glover is accepted as just one of the guys. I bet it was tough for Kevin Kline to compete for the cute factor with Costner. Or should I say: I bet it was tough for Kevin Kline to concede the cute factor to Costner? But, clearly, Kline does what he can.

I can't rip on Scott Glenn though. As far as I am concerned he is essentially flawless. That is not to say that there are no bad Scott Glenn roles. It is just that he always delivers ruggedness. From the first time I saw him in Urban Cowboy to the horrifically bad Vertical Limit, he is the embodiment of tough guy and bad-ass. But even in roles like in Bourne Ultimatum or Silence of the Lambs, he is a guy in charge who just seems like he knows what he is doing.

But back to the cheesy Silverado. We have the typical town which has an endless array of bad guys run by a corrupt sheriff played by the equally not so classic Brian Denehy. There is the whorehouse matron with the heart of gold played by Linda Hunt. And of course Jeff Goldblum as the underhanded, gentleman gambler who carries a knife in his shoe. (Warning: Plot point!)

Why do we accept all this? It is like more Hollywood than it is a western town. I suppose that is what happens with all-star casts. As the audience, we do not even care about the plot, or even if there is one. We just want to see our favourite cheeseball in the roles we already know. Don't give us anything new. Just give us what we expect. Don't surprise us. Let us fill in the blanks. Or wait! You fill in the blanks. You do everything. We'll just pay the money to watch it. There!

What qualifies?

I finally sort of watched Predator 2. It was on TNT and it was late. It was nice to see a lot of actors that I have known over the years. Gary Busey, Bill Paxton, Maria Conchita Alonso, Danny Glover and of course Adam Baldwin.

I wonder if my Uncle G has this on his list of movies he watches every time they are on. It certainly qualifies. It is violent and has a lot of cheesy lines to it. It probably does not have enough cheesy lines though.

Uncle G's list (as far as I know):

1. Revenge of the Nerds
2. The Substitute
3. Commando
4. Total Recall
5. Tremors
6. Tremors 2
7. The Quest (Van Damme)
8. Roadhouse

Those are the main ones I can remember right now. My Dad would have a more comprehensive list since he gets them quoted to him all the time. So I wonder if Predator 2 falls into the list. It has actors you love to hate. It has action. It has revenge. I am not sure that Revenge of the Nerds really has any revenge in it. Unless Bernie Casey telling John Goodman to hold it right there constitutes revenge, I don't know if it really counts. I guess the panty raid, the itching powder, the javelin throw and Takashi's tricycle race could all qualify as some sort of revenge. But after all, they're nerds.

Predator 2 was kind of silly. Violence for violence sake. I think that should qualify. Not so sure about the lines though. We will have to petition.

(The entries in red are the ones I have added since originally posting.)

Marketing...

With the help of friends everywhere, my Dad and I were able to get his website for his art business up and running. Various sites have been up for a few years, but we finally got the name changed and the site revamped. It is exciting to get a website together and have all the pieces there. It is nice to have a look that is appealling to people. At least I hope it is.

The one thing I have trouble with is that presentation. Initially, I had a site set up which allowed people to go into two different locations. One for Sports and another for Custom. It had many pages with paintings and data for each one, but the initial page was confusing. There was barely any information about the artist. Each page had the title of the work, a price, dimensions, Stats and his take. There was no shopping cart, so it was a little lacking there.

Then, I went through and designed a completely different site. And it took me a couple years. I drew it out and came up with a look and feel based on various subcategories, but I had a white background and lots of icons everywhere. I was fairly pleased with it when I got it up and running, but a good friend, T, who has lots of internet marketing experience told me to change it. He gave me lots of advice, basic pointers that I just have no clue about. Stuff, like having a black background so your eye goes straight to the painting and not to other spots. Have the website be the name of the artist instead of the business name. And, have a good bio, because people like that. They like to know more.

I realize that it is ongoing and even with all the changes, there is still more to do. I look forward to them, because it is all about learning the concepts.

What Did They Do with the Real Darth Vader?

I have one main problem with the Star Wars prequels. What happened to Darth Vader? I am sorry, but Hayden Christensen is not Darth Vader. He is not a believable Darth Vader in any way, shape or form. I cannot believe that they could get away with that. Did they get away with it? Is everybody buying it? I'm not.

It would be extremely difficult to watch 1 - 6 now in that order. Darth Vader from 3 to 4 is like night and day. The problem I had was that I kept waiting for the transition to occur. There are a couple glimpses, but it is a whiny kid with a couple of basic dilemmas. I do not see the Emperor wanting this guy as his apprentice. Look at Darth Maul. He had focus and determination. Darth Maul was obviously expendable, but I do not think that Darth Maul started out with a jedi master who he kept complaining to. And, the emperor was not way excited to get this brat he had to babysit.

I understand the whole idea of making the Emperor the ultimate evil guy and having Anakin Skywalker become his stooge. That works great for the whole story, but let's back up to Episode IV and being first introduced to Darth Vader. What are my initial thoughts when I see him? Huge guy. Wears a bad-a mask and helmet. Dressed in black. Deep, intense voice. Ruthless. Motivated. Focused. He is evil, but there is no doubt that he controls his own destiny. There is mention of the Emperor, but Darth Vader is plenty for us. He strangles people from across the room. He is well acquainted with the dark side of the force. As my Dad says, he is a major threat.

I understand that Star Wars is about fun and is essentially a kids series. So, taking someone you (are supposed to) love and making them evil is a tough chore. In Phantom Menace, he is the hero child. There is an innocence at that point. Leave it there. Introduce these characters and create a complex character in a padowan learner who is too old to begin the training.

Then, start Attack of the Clones off with Anakin going to find his mother. He needs to be on the evil path right away. He goes nuts on the Sand People and feels the power of the dark side. He is not crying about it to Padme. He has done something evil and has begun the change. Then, he meets back up with Obi-Wan and there is duplicity in his talk. Let's use that scene with the Sand People to characterize him. In Attack of the Clones, they gloss over it. Yoda is concerned. Padme enables him. Then, it is over. They get on to their new battle.

No! The prequels are about Darth Vader's demise. Let's not kid ourselves. We need to see this through and have it be compelling. I hate Hayden Christensen as Anakin. I don't think he is a bad actor. They just made him too unappealing. Luke Skywalker is the whiner of the series. He represents the everyman. Anakin does not. He is the gifted child who abuses his power. We see this type of person all the time, but he does not learn until it is too late. So, instead of making him a hero in these movies, let's show him as the anti-hero.

Instead of having him be so confused with his emotions and his duty toward the jedi order, have him be focused in the wrong direction. Let's see that look in his eye. He knows it goes against the jedi order to be in love with Padme, but it's what he wants, so he goes for it. We do not see him crying when she does not kiss him back. We see him determined and resolute. She'll come around.

The movie is not too far off, but let's see a Darth Vader that is consistent with 4, 5, and 6, because those movies are the bread and butter. We want to see the prequels, because we want to see how Anakin Skywalker gets to be Darth Vader, the ultimate evil character. And seeing this guy who cannot control his emotions and whose whole existence is focused around this girl is inconsistent. They can be somewhat subtle about his transformation.

The only way they could possibly explain that Anakin becomes Darth Vader is to have another trilogy in between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope. They need to show him go through the true transformation. I just don't buy the whole Padme problem. And, she dies of a broken heart. She is not a true champion, like she was in the other two movies. They only killed her off for convenience sake. Let's tie it all in together with a stupid death, because we already dug the hole.

I feel like George Lucas did not do it right. I wish someone would. He created 4, 5 and 6. But he did not give us 1, 2 and 3 with any kind of believability or consistency. So, in a lot of ways, it was a waste. Unfortunate, because I really want to know how Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader. I still do...

The Love Tie

I wore the Love Tie
Because I wanted to
It was a gift
The first of two

The giver is considerate
Much more than I
I don't see things and think:
Who can I for this buy?

I see stuff I like
And consider my wallet
I guess I am selfish
I think that's what they call it.

So when searching the internet
Or browsing in stores
Giving is Living
And thinking to give soars

Stickin' it to the Internet

Internet Service Providers (ISPs), like cell phone companies are the worst companies to deal with. They all seem to be pretty lame when it comes down to it. I have had DSL, Cable, Fiber, Wireless, and of course everyone's favourite, Dial-Up. I suppose it comes down to which one will produce the least amount of pain.


We have to have internet, don't we? They are the pieces of technology that make up our world and its nonsense. How else would I be able to write unless I could post to my blog? I could go downstairs and put down a bunch of ideas, but unless I can have the immediate gratification of assuming friends and family are reading this, what good is it?


I have to know every day what my banking account balance is. Before, we had to keep a checkbook and get a monthly balance in the mail to know where we stood. Now, I can go in and freak out everyday.


I have to read the news. I never watched the news in my life growing up. I still don't watch the news, but I have this obsession with constantly being up to date on everything. And what is everything really? Another hiker lost in the mountains of Oregon or California or Utah. Another sports player busted for doping or drugs or slapping a woman. Why am I reading this? Am I really so informed?


And of course, I have to keep up to date on my emails, which comprises mainly ads from Target, Costco, AFX, Barnes and Noble, Borders, Delta, Travelocity, etc. It is just checking off a list. It becomes almost an OCD thing.

These past two weeks we have been dealing with the pain of no Internet from Digis, which is a wireless ISP. They use radios on your roof to point to towers in the area. Most of the year, Digis is fine, but when something went wrong, it took them 10 days to get somebody out. And, they gave us a window of 12pm - 6pm. Based on principle alone, we have to go with someone else. Waiting two weeks to get Internet usage in this day and age is ridiculous.


When I spoke to the Digis lady on cancellation, she stated that that was a long time and that they give businesses a higher priority. That is fine with me. You go with the deep pockets. That is business, but they are not going to get my business as long as that is their model. And if I can influence anyone to go with something different, I will.

We had a guy come out from High Speed Utah. It is a small company which one guy runs with a couple of buddies. We'll see how it goes, but he was out here right away to get us hooked up. It took him less than an hour. It was refreshing to know that a small business guy could get one over on the big conglomerates. He even said that Digis offered to buy him out. But, he likes what he does. And he says he rarely gets customer service calls. His website is nothing great. I really don't know. It may be horrible, worse than Digis or Comcast or Qwest or whoever. But for now, I am going with the little guy.

Grandpa always said that small business was the backbone of America.

Yeah, They're Hicks, Rita

I have been looking forward all day long to watching Groundhog Day. I have been working online and on the room hoping that later I could finally watch one of the greatest movies of all time. So I came downstairs, turned on the tv and went to the dvd shelf to find my copy of Punxsatawney Phil and it is not there. I am racking my brains and I can only think of one place... W and D's.

There goes another Groundhog Day without watching "Hey Phil! Hey Phil! I thought that was you... Don't tell me you don't remember 'cause I sure as heckfire remember you. Ned! Ryerson! Needlenose Ned! Ned the Head! Come on, buddy..."

It is weird to feel that helpless disappointment. Kind of like jumping in the shower and having only cold water or waking up each morning to "I Got You, Babe".