The Topper

Yep! You know him (or her). The one who always has a better story. No matter how good the story is. No matter how fantastic. No matter how much of a lie the original is, he has a better one. His is better, more fantastic, a bigger lie.

The nature of the topper is the toughest thing to deal with, because in a way, by you telling a story at all, you are stepping on their toes. They seem to feel that they are the only ones entitled to be telling the amazing story. How dare you even think that your story or happening or experience could even compete with their incredible adventure...

How does one argue with a topper? Do you come out directly and tell them that their story sucks? Do you tell them like you would a child that they are being rude in trying to top someone else's story? Do we just chalk it up to the topper's insecurity as the cause?

I honestly think that most toppers are completely clueless. They think that they are supposed to come up with a topper. If someone shares a story, they go into their topper library in their head and come up with the best possible match for the initial story and then share it thinking that if they do not, then they are not showing proper attention to the original story. I think they feel like they are validating the original with their own.

But, a message to the topper in all of you. Don't! Just hear the story out and ask about the story. Laugh at the story. We won't think you are boring if you do not give us a whole new, different story. Make us feel good about our story. And then, if the conversation dies off and there is a need for yours, then go ahead.

But please! Don't make us think that if we tell a story then we are just going to be inundated with yours! And whatever you do, don't say: "Oh! I have a better one!" Or "Get this! You won't believe this!"

Give us lame storytellers a chance!

By the way, we all do it. Despite our best intentions, we find ourselves in situations with certain people where we just have to outdo them. Thank you to the great listeners of the world. I will try to be better.