To Kzzzzzzzzzzk From Wdddddddddw

I have infiltrated the man person's computer and I am sending a message back to my people on the planet of Kzzzzk, colony bzzzb. If you are listening, then please do a comment using W's account.

So far, all is well. They do not suspect a thing. As far as they know, I am a sweet little 90 kip old baby. It is really tough to get away. They keep a watch on me all the time. And getting out of their crib contraption is really tricky. I figured out there has to be a pin in there to keep it still. I got a good enough angle tonight to shoot some invisible sleep darts at them, so they should be out for hours. I started sleeping through the night anyway, so they most likely won't wake up.

As far as what to report, they really seem to care about me a lot. The man one tells me all about his dreams for me to be a great volleyball star one day. Doesn't he know that there is no money in that? I will placate him if that is how long my assignment lasts for. I really do not want to draw any attention to myself anyway. It already feels like I have too much.

The woman one, the one that calls herself monny or nommy or malmy is constantly feeding me. Sometimes she wakes me up when I am in the middle of a good sleep just to shove the pointy thing in my mouth. It tastes pretty good, so I rarely complain. They had to clip my tongue though early on because I couldn't pull the pointy thing far enough back. I guess they insist on gagging me with it.

They spend a lot of time looking at me and standing me up, letting me sit, putting me on my stomach. I play along with them, because it works better for the undercover work. If they could see me right now typing 90 words per minute, I think they would revisit their whole approach.

I have not given them much of a personality yet. I just mostly try to look cute. I smile at them sometimes, because they really do make me laugh. The man one sings the stupidest songs. I keep hoping that he will come up with new words instead of the same dumb ones over and over again. He does change the tune at least, but he is so offkey. When will it stop?

The only time I give a real straight face is when they change my diaper. I know I need to get better at my poker face, but I get so nervous that they will see under all the makeup. All he has to do is flick the switch down there and it is all over. They will suddenly be looking at something that is not too familiar at all.

Well, that is all for now. This couple is pretty normal. I should be able to lay low here for years. The planet is pretty silly. It's an election year and the two candidates are just like Grick and Popkin back in Silbia. You know what a disaster that was...