The Real Sea World

I think the Killer Whale was given that name back in the seventies when things were considered "killer" as a substitute for the word "cool". They couldn't just call him the Cool Whale or the Bitchen Whale. He was the Killer Whale. In the sixties, he may have been known as the Groovy Whale. In the fifties, the Hip Whale and in the Forties, the Swingin' Whale. And the thirties they would have just been known as Clark Gable.

Right now, they are not thinking that the Killer Whale is very cool. I suppose many are thinking that we should not be going to see them performing tricks and stuff. When one looks at it, the whales are being treated pretty well. It's the trainers who are getting the raw deal. But they ask for it. Not to be drowned and all, but it's a risk.

The trainers do wear those wet suits which make them look like little whales. If I suddenly saw a fish dressed up like me, how would I react? I would probably insist on him sitting at the table and have tea with me. Or a soda. I would be having so much fun with my new human friend, it would not even occur to me that he would not be able to breathe.

They say this particular whale had problems before. He has a record. A couple convictions, a DUI... He was a mess. So why keep him? Couldn't they just let him loose? See how he does with other whales. Maybe he would not think it was so funny when he slips and falls into a great white feeding frenzy. Or does it not work that way? Would it actually have to be a killer whale feeding frenzy? Now that would be Whale Wars. And not bad reality tv.

Maybe this killer whale should get his own reality tv series. He could constantly be interviewed and explain to everyone that he was the victim all along. None of these other incidents were his fault at all. "The guy suddenly showed up in my tank with no clothes on. I was just trying to help him get dressed."