I was once a kid and I know what it is like to be bullied, to have fear. The idea that some other kid and his anger or angst or anxiety could weigh on me so heavily that I shrank at my desk or cowered by walking home a longer way. It is completely horrible. It is debilitating.
I am sure it was equally frustrating for my father who watched me not take control better. In so many situations, I just let the environment get the best of me. Whether it was other kids or coaches or domineering adults, it was hard to find my place.
But I will tell you, I never imagined ever coming to school with a gun so I could slaughter my enemy. Or take out my frustrations on a bunch of innocents. Maybe a lot of people imagine doing such things, but never carry them out. I don't know. But I didn't.
Pro-gun people have all their set arguments and anti-gun people have all theirs. In talking to most anyone about this, the polarization is ugly. I am trying to reach a source of truth here though. I don't want to jump into the politics of it (although that is pretty unavoidable). I am trying to explore what solutions might exist for this sort of tragedy that continues to happen in our country.
A gun is very powerful. It's pretty much the most powerful item that the average man can own. With a gun, a person is able to kill someone in seconds. Other people, themselves, you name it. They can destroy things quickly. And, in the wrong hands, there is not much hope. People cower. People run for cover. People are not charging the shooter trying to disarm them.
Someone who pulls out a gun for whatever reason has just taken a huge stand and is announcing to those around that he/she means business. Even in a place like a shooting range where many others are armed, the responsibility that each gun-owner carries is huge. That person has to look out for himself, those around him like their family. There is no light moment in which a child can play with a gun. Life is serious when guns are introduced.
So, back to the problem. How does a teenager get hold of a gun? How do we prevent this sort of thing from happening? How do we get the retaliation aspect out of kids' heads? Out of adults' heads even? Protection is one thing, but what is causing people to assume that they need to even the playing field or one up others at all costs? What is going on in our societal programming that makes people think this way? Why does it all end with guns? Why is our focus so much on guns?
I realize that we can't just take everything away like video games, movies and of course, guns. But maybe we can shift our attitudes away from the things that are getting people killed.
I know people that play video games and enjoy the missions. In the process they carry multiple weapons and shoot anything and everything at will. While that may be horrifying to a small child, by the time many kids are teenagers, they don't think twice about first person shooter games. Most of those people (kids and adults) can rationally think that when they are not playing the game they have no reason to go out and do the same thing to others. But, I don't think I am wrong in saying that simulating a first person gun toting narrative invites ideas into people's heads about doing those sorts of things. And if one supports games of this nature, one should accept that irrational people will take it a step further. They have.
Now, I watched the Matrix and the scene where Neo goes to rescue Morpheus is very intense. There is no doubt he is going to blow everyone away in the process, but it is cool because there is this music along with it that pumps you up. They are in their black leather and doing all sorts of cool acrobatic style tricks in slow motion. The movie is Rated R. And, I don't come out of that thinking that I need to go into a building and start blowing people away. But what kind of entertainment is this? What kind of society feeds off this sort of thing? And if we just tweak a couple of assumptions, what is to stop people from deciding to do almost the same thing?
Violence and shootings are the types of things we have to deal with in a society that wants to have as much freedom as possible to do whatever. People may argue that these types of crimes are statistically going to happen and that there is nothing that can be done about it. Maybe that is true. I don't want it to be true. There are countries where things like this never happen. It's possible that the people in these countries are drooling in a cup all day long as the government doles out their rations of cheese. Part of being such a great dynamic country is having to deal with a few losers who go nuts and kill a bunch of people. Our only two options are:
- the cheese and the cup
- bullets in the brain
It is almost as if we worship guns. People don't fear God. They fear guns. Kids don't go bowling. They play games where they can shoot each other on tv. Adults don't go see movies about love and compassion. Adults go to mature movies about justice where guns are always there.
Guns have become a fact of life.
And with so much emphasis placed on guns, those who don't get the loving family nor the accepting society nor the accommodating peer group are lost. They only see the guns, because that is the only thing that makes them feel powerful.
So what do we do to counter this notion, this improper worship of a false god?
Rather than point at everyone else, I will just say what I think I should do.
First of all, I look at a gun as a sacred trust. For example:
- This is something that doesn't come out unless it is absolutely needed.
- To protect my home.
- To protect my country.
Second, it is time to look out for the little guy, the kid that is not going to understand the purpose of a gun. This is a little abstract, but I am more interested in the creative mind and what people can create, rather than what they can destroy. Let's excite our children with art not with destruction.
Third, bullying seems to be part of life. In some ways, I wish it wasn't, but it is there. And it is something that has to be dealt with on some level. I don't believe in getting the crap kicked out of you to make a point. I don't believe that a weapon has to be used either to handle that sort of situation. There are some awful people out there. And there are normal people who do awful things. I will try to teach people to give it time when it comes to dealing with bullies.
Bullies get humbled. Life is rough on everyone.
Now, if a bully has broken into my house, that's a different story...
1 comment:
One step that I think should be taken is to hold parents and guardians responsible, at least to some degree when a child uses their weapons. Keep your guns locked, and don't let the kids have access without you.
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