My Shirts Do Not Bring Me Joy

I looked down at my drawer at all my shirts.  I even arranged them the way she said so that I could see all of them.  It did not help.  My shirts do not bring me joy.

This phrase makes me laugh.  Not because it is not a good idea.  Yes, our possessions should bring us joy.  We should not be keeping things that make us miserable.  But when it comes to clothes, is it really possible to have a wardrobe filled with joy?

I have a tough time imagining this joy scenario: I am impatiently waiting out in the living room to leave on a date with my wife.  So, I go back to check on her.  There she is sitting on the floor of the closet with 4 outfits clutched in her hands, tears streaming down her face as she exclaims: "I can't decide what to wear because all my clothes bring me so much joy!!!!"

The last time I had joy in my clothing was when I was a teenager.  My buddy and I would hit the thrift stores downtown on a weekly basis looking for Hang Ten shirts.  I think I had joy in my clothes at that time. I was surrounded by all these rich kids with really nice clothes and cars and stuff.  They had bright neon surf shirts and shorts.  I would come in with green, maroon, browns, whatever, creating my own look which was based off my uncle, my buddy and other people who had an eye for what was cool but different.

Since that time, I have really only had a couple bright spots here or there.  Stay with the green.  Stay with the green.  

The other night we had people over and I pulled out an old light blue cardigan.  I sat there in it thinking: This brings me joy, but other people hate it, detest it so much, that it creates a major rift in my own joy continuum.  So I am conflicted.  I cannot make other people miserable in the process of having my own joy clothing.  But nevertheless, I sat there with it on and enjoyed feeling like a washed-out literature professor.

I also get a lot of joy out of big heavy t-shirts with pockets on them.  Why the pocket?  It can hold my glasses, my pen, my gum wrapper, etc.

And speaking of utility, my favourite work shirt is what I call the John Galt shirt.  It is a short sleeve, button down shirt with two pockets, made with durable material.  Dickies makes them.  I call them John Galt shirts, because it is the shirt I pictured the heroes (if you can call them that) wearing in Atlas Shrugged.

I suppose as I have grown older, having a joy in clothes has been fleeting.  It is hard to be anti-establishment when I have become the establishment.  I see people that dress well and I think: Yeah, that could be the way to go.  But it seems so expensive.  I spent a lot of time going through racks at thrift stores.  It took awhile to build up a good collection.  I didn't pay as much as with new, but it still took up all my money at the time.

Maybe that is the point though.  Joy, true joy, comes through hard work and diligence.  I can't just wear the old 7-11 shirt today attempting to re-live the glory days.  I have not earned it.  Not since I was sixteen.