Lip Service Moving Co.

My favourite thing to do when helping people move is making comments on their stuff.  I figure I am there breaking my back to move their furniture and boxes, going up and down stairs, sweating like crazy, I think it is only fair to be able to ask: 

"Hey!  Why do you have this book on Satan's War?"

Most people have pretty normal stuff and that is why I think it is okay to make comments on the out of the ordinary.  The general assumption is that they are normal people, but as is the case with most, there are going to be items which are a bit strange.  Why not joke about them to lighten the mood?  

A classic one is antiques.  An antique sewing machine which is never going to be used but is an heirloom from a great great aunt.  Heavier than a whale and so awkward.  Yeah, the best place to lift it is at the base because everywhere else is not so secure.  I am lifting this behemoth up from the basement to the moving truck only to lift it down to another basement where it will sit for years and years.

But I am not supposed to judge.  I am just there to help.  Phooey!  They are my muscles, my sweat, my back pain, so therefore they get my comments!  And I am not being mean.  I am not making fun of their serious looking ancestors from the 1900s in the photos in the gigantic frames.  (Unless they give the go-ahead of course.)  Lady in the rabbit costume.  What's that about?

Personally, I have so much junk.  I would expect someone to be relentless if they were helping me move.  Like we need all these DVDs, all this cardboard, all these Christmas totes. (Sorry, honey.  Couldn't resist)

Don't get me wrong.  I am not rifling through people's stuff.  I do have rules.  It has to be anything I can see.  If the tote is see-through, it's fair game.  

- What do you guys eat with that giant wooden fork and spoon?
- Why do you have three vacuum cleaners?
- When are you are going to repair that table saw?
- Why is this home gym so dusty?
- Did you save the box for these stupid A glasses for a reason?
- You could probably throw this tote out.  It's totally hammered.
- Was this hole in this painting here before?
- Why did you use your biggest box for hard-back books?
- Why do you have hard-back books? 
- Did this sofa grow since you put it down here or did you build the house around it?
- Why are those people sitting there not helping?
- So all these items not boxed up, did you want me to do that?
- What is in this treasure chest like thing?  Nothing?  Wow.
- Please tell me this fold-out couch is going to Good Will.