28 August 2008

Pedro Gabriel

I found this clip on YouTube and it makes me uncomfortable to watch it. I do, however, like the song. Do others feel uncomfortable watching this? I have always felt uncomfortable listening to Peter Gabriel's voice. It bothers me. It shouldn't. It's not a bad voice. It is quite distinct. (Well, mostly distinct. Phil Collins sounds a lot like him.)

Perhaps it is his white utility belt. My friend says he is dressed kind of like Han Solo. I doubt that was his intention. Then again, what do I know about Peter Gabriel? Thankfully, not very much. I think there should be a rule about how much space Peter Gabriel gets on a stage to run around. I suppose Bono has quite a big loop to use. At least he doesn't skip. Or did he? He would probably have to in order to get back in time...

I decided to listen to some Peter Gabriel songs that I have been listening to for years. Let me clarify. I have been hearing for years. The radio was on. I couldn't get to the tuner fast enough to change the channel. I don't know what it is. The association with Genesis? Is it the lyrics?

Your eyes. The light. The heat.
Your eyes. the lambs all bleat.
Your eyes. In your eyes!

Games without frontiers
War without tears
James without lump ears
Sore without beers

Big time. I have got to watch it grow.
Big time. So much larger than life.
Big time. I've got to hatch it blow.
Big time. So much smaller than knife.

I mean, what does this stuff mean?

With a lot of music, I try to give it its first shot with me. Like, even though I have heard it played on the radio constantly, I still want to go and listen to it without the repetition and try to soak it in. I don't think Peter Gabriel is getting past the initial shame phase though. Whether it is fair or not, I just don't think I can do it. I am not sure I see the value in it.

20 August 2008

The Horror... The Horror

I realize that, statistically, flying is very safe. And, aside from the uncomfortability factor of it all, it is a pretty fast way to get places.

One thing that a lot of people do not talk about though is the horror of crashing. Sure they mention the aftermath, but what about the whole notion of right before the crash? A plane full of people who know they are going to die. I think that could be a good play or movie. The many perspectives on the horror of the pre-crash.

What would that be like? Hopefully, I never find out, but to me that seems like the worst part. The actual crash would be quite instantaneous. But the seconds leading up to that...

I wonder if this is one of those things people are not supposed to talk about. Like loneliness. People never talk about being lonely, because the person who hears the lonely lament has to respond by being the person who is going to save the lonely person. This is totally ridiculous. I think people should be able to talk about loneliness. It is a rather fascinating subject.

In fact, I think it is more fascinating than the horror before a plane crash.

18 August 2008

Decisions

An adult has to make decisions, or so I hear. Part of being an adult is making decisions and dealing with the consequences. It is kind of a hassle, because sometimes one makes the right decisions. Sometimes...

The problem is that others have to deal with one's decisions. If it was just the one person dealing with them, then he could just slap on the LOSER shirt and be done with it. But, when others have to suffer along with that person's misguidance, there just aren't enough shirts to go around.

The one I get slapped with the most is staying up late at night. I love to stay up late. There is something about being up past the point at which one "should" go to bed. I suppose it is a childish thing, but it feels like freedom. But the next morning as I sleep in, because I am definitely not losing sleep, there goes most of the day...

It is tough to argue that one, because I am wasting the day. But who wants to get up early in the morning and mow the lawn? I know my neighbors don't want me to...

But the really incredible part of decisions is that one makes so many in one day. And there are little consequences the whole day. Like, I turned on the radio this morning on the way to work, but I wanted to think, so I turned it off. But then, as I was driving, I went about 3 miles before realizing that I was spacing out. So, I needed to pay attention. So, I turned the radio back on. Or did I?

29 July 2008

Stupid TV

We just went through the cycle again. Not the washing machine, nor the Lion King symbiotic thing, but the stupid cycle of tv service. We went from Dish to Comcast. And, it is all Dish's fault. Well, sort of.

I have had a few different services over the years. I have had Comcast a few times. And, I hate the fact that they do not want me as a customer. They only want me as a new customer. They want me to switch from something else to them. But, as far as retention goes, they could care less about that. How does that work?

I would think a company would want good, satisfied customers. But no. I vowed that I would never go back to them. That would have stayed had it not been for Dish. They come in with their ten month deal, but then after that, they jump all their prices up. So, Dish is no better than Comcast. I have not had DirecTV yet, but I am sure they are just as bad.

I just want a consistent price. I don't want to have to adjust my budget constantly to meet whatever happens to be the offer currently.

I cannot believe how much we pay for TV anyway. For something that just wastes our time, why do we pay so much for it? It is this filler that we feel like we cannot do without. But wait! If I didn't spend time watching tv shows, I could:
1. Write more blog entries
2. Exercise
3. Spend more time with my family
4. Play a game.
5. Learn a new sport.
6. Read a book
7. Take a nap
8. Make a complex meal
9. Start a business
10. Do some yoga.
11. Draw
12. Clean my house
13. Pace
14. Brush my teeth.
15. Brush my hair
16. Make a pinata
17. Write a story.
18. Make up jokes
19. Drink some water
20. Dig a well.
21. Mow the lawn.
22. Do a crossword puzzle.
23. Wash the cars.

And oh, so much more.

19 July 2008

The Password is...."password"

Technology is upon us. I think I just entered my 100th unique password. What am I doing? What are we doing? All of these sites which require a username and password... It does not really seem all that secure. Apparently, somebody knows. And how do we determine which ones we can really trust?

The news talks about bank accounts getting compromised, identities being stolen, people's personal information being found in the trash, etc. We rely upon this concept of a business being honest and forthright because otherwise they would go out of business. But what if they do not care? What if they just go bankrupt and disappear as an entity? Meanwhile, they have credit card information for thousands of customers.

Sure this is the talk of the paranoid individual who watches too many episodes of CSI and Numbers. However, the concept of big brother as identified in the book 1984 is not too far off here. We have a government which continually seeks more control. (Sorry! That is just what governments do...) But, what better way to have everyone's information than on the Internet? And, it becomes so easily searchable too. Just googling my own name is surprising.

My friend was talking about facial recognition software, which is such an awesome thing, but what is that going to be used for? Well, in CSI, they are able to track down criminals. What if I look exactly like a guy wanted for murder and all they have is a video of the guy leaving a house? No fingerprints or nothing. And my alibi is that I was sitting home alone watching tv that night...

I am not sure that any of this has any credence at all, but we have to ask questions. The problem we have is that change is so abrupt now that we can hardly keep track of what is going on.

We can order all these things on the Internet and all it requires is a credit card number. That freaks me out. My credit card is in fifty different places. Is that smart? The one thing I look for when ordering something on the internet is for the url to change from "http" to "https". That is a sign of security. Somebody is paying extra money to make people feel more secure with their cards.

I am sure that once people have their identity compromised, they are really careful. But others need to be careful too. There is way too much at stake.

So here is my list of questions that I need to do. How many different websites do I have usernames/passwords with? How much information do they each have about me? Is there a more secure account that I could create, so that they do not have to access my credit card(s)? Who has my social security number? Why do they have it? Do any of my usernames use my social security number? Do any of my usernames/passwords have any vital information about me out there? Do I give personal information about myself in chat rooms, on websites or on blogs?

16 July 2008

To Kzzzzzzzzzzk From Wdddddddddw

I have infiltrated the man person's computer and I am sending a message back to my people on the planet of Kzzzzk, colony bzzzb. If you are listening, then please do a comment using W's account.

So far, all is well. They do not suspect a thing. As far as they know, I am a sweet little 90 kip old baby. It is really tough to get away. They keep a watch on me all the time. And getting out of their crib contraption is really tricky. I figured out there has to be a pin in there to keep it still. I got a good enough angle tonight to shoot some invisible sleep darts at them, so they should be out for hours. I started sleeping through the night anyway, so they most likely won't wake up.

As far as what to report, they really seem to care about me a lot. The man one tells me all about his dreams for me to be a great volleyball star one day. Doesn't he know that there is no money in that? I will placate him if that is how long my assignment lasts for. I really do not want to draw any attention to myself anyway. It already feels like I have too much.

The woman one, the one that calls herself monny or nommy or malmy is constantly feeding me. Sometimes she wakes me up when I am in the middle of a good sleep just to shove the pointy thing in my mouth. It tastes pretty good, so I rarely complain. They had to clip my tongue though early on because I couldn't pull the pointy thing far enough back. I guess they insist on gagging me with it.

They spend a lot of time looking at me and standing me up, letting me sit, putting me on my stomach. I play along with them, because it works better for the undercover work. If they could see me right now typing 90 words per minute, I think they would revisit their whole approach.

I have not given them much of a personality yet. I just mostly try to look cute. I smile at them sometimes, because they really do make me laugh. The man one sings the stupidest songs. I keep hoping that he will come up with new words instead of the same dumb ones over and over again. He does change the tune at least, but he is so offkey. When will it stop?

The only time I give a real straight face is when they change my diaper. I know I need to get better at my poker face, but I get so nervous that they will see under all the makeup. All he has to do is flick the switch down there and it is all over. They will suddenly be looking at something that is not too familiar at all.

Well, that is all for now. This couple is pretty normal. I should be able to lay low here for years. The planet is pretty silly. It's an election year and the two candidates are just like Grick and Popkin back in Silbia. You know what a disaster that was...

26 June 2008

Clearing Out the DVR

Well, all the silly shows on my DVR are finally getting watched and deleted. It started with The Office and LOST. Once A watched those with me, I was able to start systematically knocking the others off.

CSI
CSI Miami
Law and Order SVU
Numb3rs
Scrubs

I still have Earl episodes, but those may take awhile. I have old Get Smart episodes which take precedence I think. They are much funnier.

The sad thing is that it all starts again in the fall. And, they left me with all these stupid cliffhangers. Do I really care if Warrick is done with the show? Or Adam Beach? Do I really think that Charlie will never work on another FBI case? Or will Horatio survive the gunshot wounds deployed by a gun which is so lethal, it detects the body's temperature and decides to be shrapnel or not when it enters?

Scrubs did not really leave with a cliffhanger. It was more like: This is not the season finale. This was a lame filler episode that was not going to be used, but since ABC is taking over, they decided to scrub away.

The Office had a good cliffhanger. A major downer cliffhanger. But it was in true Office fashion.

And, with LOST, I don't know what to think. As usual.

23 June 2008

In Memoriam: George Carlin


One of the greats died yesterday. George Carlin. I say great, because he has been an icon for me for most of my life. And, there have been George Carlin quotes lingering for years. How could I go on a trip to Hawaii without thinking about bringing some of "my stuff"?

The news articles talk about how he was famous for the seven dirty words, but that was not what I remember him for. He was crude and crass and offensive, but I liked how he could challenge things. He did not seem to stand for anything, but comedy. He took potshots at most everything. And, even if I did not agree with him, it was a lesson in thought. I think about his delivery and how he could just list things off. It was as if he memorized stuff, but it was really how his mind worked.

He ripped on Baby on Board signs, euphemisms, and white guys wearing their baseball caps backwards. Golf courses, golf, cemeteries, stupid sayings, the three questions at the airport, the smug greedy people of the world, people who are namby-pamby. People suddenly carrying their water around with them all the time. "Can't they take a drink of water before leaving the house?"

As someone who grew up observing the strange behaviour of people all over the place and writing it down in my notebook, I liked seeing someone who could verbalize it so well. Sometimes, the arguments aren't even rational, but I enjoy it. I agreed. While I did have to filter through the obscenities to get the great insights, I came away with "I'm not handicapped. I'm handicapable!" or "Toilet paper became running shoes. Partly cloudy became partly sunny. The dump became the landfill."

And, he is so right about this euphemistic crap out there. People constantly come up with terms to soften things up. It's the politically correct stuff that gets so old.

He definitely spiced things up with his obscenity, so I can't really recommend anyone to watch or listen to his stuff, but he did have a very fun, challenging, unique perspective that made one think.

12 June 2008

Drama

When being dramatic there are certain rules one has to follow:

1. Make sure that no one else in the vicinity will upstage you in dramatic effort.
2. Emphasize every little action.
3. Sit uncomfortably and make lots of sighs.
4. Make the nausea face when something smells bad or you think it might smell bad.
5. Roll your eyes and make sure everyone else sees it.
6. Be offended at the slightest provocation.
7. If you find yourself to be embarrassed after a dramatic outburst, apologize. But don't ever change anything. Be more embarrassing next time.
8. When being dramatic, don't laugh at yourself. Take yourself very seriously.
9. Pretentiousness is the foundation of drama city.
10. If someone else has entered the room and is being more dramatic than you are, say "I know!" after everything she says. She will figure it out.
11. Drama is all about acting the part. Make sure that everyone knows you truly believe what you are being dramatic about even though you don't.
12. Call someone. Hang up on him. Then, call right back. That is a good dramatic intro.
13. Make a scene. Always make a scene. Everyone needs to know you were there and the least mature person in the room, on the block, at the mall...
14. No matter how lame your news is or how insignificant the gossip, pull your friend aside and tell her that she won't believe what you just heard.
15. When someone else is being dramatic about a lame story or insignificant gossip, go along with them and build up their dramability. They will thank you for it later.

08 June 2008

Better Than I Deserve...

For a long time, I have been searching for someone or something to help me with financial matters. This is a topic which people generally do not come in and start telling others to do. Finances are personal. But, what are the standards to live by? What are the rules? How does one save money? How does one buy things without going into debt?

I grew up doing all the standard dumb things. My first two cars barely cost me anything, but then when I bought my Toyota Tercel, I paid 18.75% interest. No air conditioning. No radio. I knew nothing. I basically ended up paying double what the car was worth in car payments. Then, when I bought my truck, I did a 6 year loan. I bought my tv, sofa, camera all on credit. I sensed that I was doing something wrong, but I had no real direction. By the time I bought my condo, I had a truck payment, school loans and credit cards.

I knew I wanted to pay off my debt and I knew that I wanted to save money, but all I could do was incur debt and then pay it off. I think that is how most of America works. There seems to be no other solution than to just slap all that money down on a credit card and then spend the next few years enjoying what you have while paying a huge price for it.

This all changed when I came across the teachings of Dave Ramsey. I know some people have read his book, The Total Money Makeover, but the book does not teach people like his radio show does. He talks to people about how much they make, how much debt they have, and what their spending habits are. He actually has 7 Baby Steps for people to follow to feel financially secure. And, most of the calls he takes revolve around those baby steps.

Who is Dave Ramsey? Why should I trust some guy on the radio? He is a Christian, which sort of threw me off at first. I suppose I wondered if he cared about people or converts. But listening to his show changed all that. His story started off with him flipping houses and he was a millionaire, but then some deals went bad and he went bankrupt. After going through that hellish experience, he came across a business idea of being able to help people avoid what he went through and eliminate debt from their lives.

Dave is really conservative when it comes to money. He says to have a written budget before each month starts. Give every dollar a name. It works. It is not hard to realize that one's money gets spent so quickly. Then, the sacrifice steps in. Things we wanted to buy had to wait.

I could go on for hours on how great his program is. I would recommend listening to his show. He has the archives from two weeks back on his website.

But back to my initial statement. I was searching for someone to help me out with this financial stuff. We had a guy come over once who told us to roll our debt over to a 401k loan. Not knowing any better, I signed on. This was a bad idea. If I had lost my job, that money would have become due all at once. Very risky.

The show teaches people to minimize risk. What if I lose my job tomorrow? Do I have anything in place to allow me to look for a new job for a couple months? Why is debt a bad idea? Why get a fixed rate loan on a house? Why avoid debt at all costs?

Dave talks a lot about Murphy's Law. And it is so true. Life is all about the unexpected. And, we live in such a Must Have Now society. So, people buy all these things anticipating that everything will be fine in the future, but it won't. We need to have safeguards in place.

The policy on credit cards is to never use them. A lot of people say that they need to build up a great credit score, but Dave's argument is that one does not need a great credit score if one does not take out any loans. The only exception would be a home loan, and for this he says that one can go to a lender who does manual underwriting, which is what they did in the olden days.

Many would say that no credit card use is too extreme, but the argument here is more about behaviour. The statistic goes that people spend 12% more using credit cards than they do with cash. It does not take a stat to know that this is true. Are some people able to handle this anyway? Sure. But, there are certainly way too many people out there who are in over their heads when it comes to credit card debt. And it comes back to behaviour. If people were disciplined with a written budget, they would be okay. People want to have fun, go out to eat, go on vacation, buy brand new cars, buy large homes. We are not patient.

Dave offers a standard from which to work from. I believe he is right most of the time. He speaks to me in a language I can understand. It is conservative, but that is okay, because it works. And, I am no financial expert. I could not tell people where to invest or how best to use their money. I just know that risky behaviour with money often requires quite a bit of work to overcome. I don't want to do that. I want my family to feel secure.

07 June 2008

Write This Down!

I was listening to talk radio today and happened to catch this guy named Steve Godfrey. He appears to be some sort of medium. When he speaks with people on the phone, he tells them of the people he is communicating with on the other side. And, usually it is family.

I was trying to have an open mind on it. Certain things he said did sound amazing, but the one thing that bothered me was "Write this down!" If I was talking to him, I would say: "Screw you! You write it down!"

What is he telling them to write down? He starts things off by telling the people he sees someone who has died.

Steve: "Someone has had lymphoma. Anyone had cancer in your family?"
Caller: "Uh yes. That was my brother."
Steve: "I am sensing that he had a real hard battle. What kind of cancer was it?"
Caller: "Bone cancer."
Steve: "Yes, it was a difficult battle. But he wants to let you know that things are much better now. I am also seeing Santa Claus. Someone who has a big white beard. He either dressed up as Santa a lot or just had a beard like Santa.
Caller: "That was my father-in-law."
Steve: "I am also sensing October 3rd or 4th. Does that ring a bell?"
Caller: "No."
Steve: "Well, write that down! That could be important later on."
Caller: "It is my half birthday. I was born April 2nd."
Steve: "I don't know about that."

This may have been a compilation of a couple calls, but it cracks me up. The dates are never significant to the people. Of course people have family who have died of cancer though. And, what about the Santa Claus? He totally covered his butt when he said that the person could dress up as Santa. Doesn't every family have a designated Santa? I guess mine doesn't...

I realize that the guy brings a positive message to people and people like to be comforted after someone close has died. I think it is all about the confidence the guy portrays. And, the fact that he has the gall to tell them to write down a date or other such information.

"Oh yeah! That was the date I got my oil changed last year... Wow."

03 June 2008

Chapter 9

Hanken was tired and lethargic after his long journey to the coast. He had rescued maidens, maids and madmen. He figured sleeping would be his reward for his recent good behaviour. So, he napped and napped. When he was done napping he napped some more.

After all this napping, he was rejuvenated. It was time to start working on diffusing the bomb he had in his suitcase. He pulled out his tweezers and his rubber gloves. Hanken started working away and after a few vials of sweat beads trickled off his head, he was once again in the clear.

Now, to fill out the report. He always felt it was good business to document his endeavours. Lest anyone think he was a fool and a teller of tall tales, he would at least know that he had written it down in his ledger. He wrote and he wrote making sure to remember the angle he left the gangster in the trashcan at the airport.

He found that leaving details out was always a mistake. The kinds of villains he was working with had curious tattoos and spoke in funny dialects. These things would be important later on when deciphering who this was. After putting the finishing touches on the woman with the full lips and boisterous laugh, he put down his ledger and began to contemplate his next move.

Where would the next attack come from? Where are the armies amassing? And, where can he get a clean shirt in this pile of clothes scattered all over the floor?

27 May 2008

Good Things About Goonies

My brother-in-law, E, brought up a point yesterday on why the Fratellis were necessary in The Goonies. The confession scene with Chunk. That is a great movie scene. They have him tied up and they want him to tell them everything, so then he starts to tell them... everything. He tells them all about himself and essentially why he is Chunk. And what makes it good too is that they let him.

Sloth is another good character. I love the things I saw John Matuszak in. He was a football player for the Oakland Raiders. As Sloth, he was memorable.

The water slides leading to the ship were kind of cool, but then again why? That was like the skate ramp in Hook. I feel like they are pandering to the current audience of kids.

I did like that the goonies were under the fountain at one point. That is actually a pretty decent scene. They first think they are rich, but then realize it is the fountain and all the coins are people's wishes.

And the red-headed chick was pretty cute too, so I can't fault them that either.

I really need to see it again. Perhaps I can watch it with all the people who love it and they will influence me to love it also... That's optimism.

24 May 2008

Senorito Budlito

Senorito Budlito
My Little Bud Leeeee Toe!

I have been singing this all day to my son. I like the idea of it being Spanish, but then not quite. Budly, with the short u sound, is the English equivalent and that is where all this started. I also like the redundancy of saying "Little Budlito" since the Spanish is essentially already Little Budly. So now, it is like Littler Budly.

18 May 2008

What Did I Miss?


One of my least favourite movies is The Goonies. However, I don't want to dislike it. I really, really want to like it. I think, in theory, it is one of the best ideas for a movie. It is just executed so poorly. Everytime it is on, I watch it, hoping that it changed a little since I saw it last. It must have had some great marketing in its early days. Or perhaps it is the sets and the ideas behind the scenes, but the actual scenes are torture.

I often try to come up with replacement ideas to make something better, like take out the last half hour of Close Encounters of the Third Kind or the last hour and a half of Return of the King. Or, make Back to the Future 2's future more creative and less retro-eighties.

With Goonies, they need to eliminate the Fratellis. I like Joe Pantoliano, but not even he makes those scenes work. And the Mom is just lame. Of course, Sloth (John Matuszak) is great and that is a role which they could have kept. He could have come from anywhere. I suppose people think that they need to have villains to run from, but I like the idea of the kids doing the adventure and just battling the elements themselves. The Fratellis are a distraction from the imagination of what was going on. We don't feel threatened by them. They are not going to kill the kids.

Let us go with the battle the elements concept. They find the treasure map and they start their journey. As they are going, they get deeper and deeper into it. Suddenly, there is that fear all kids feel of doing something adventurous, but really dangerous. Because they were being chased by the Fratellis, we had no time for that self-aware feeling. They come to the organ that they have to play the right keys. Then, they know they are on the right track. By the time they get to the pirate ship, they are amazed, but even then, there would still be pitfalls. To me, that would be more real and play more with our imaginations.

There is also the idea that Mikey (Sean Astin) shows us when he is talking to One Eyed Willie in the pirate ship. There was finally a quiet moment after so much yelling and screaming. But it didn't fit. Suddenly, there was this sentimentality scene that we got no wind of before. These rude, disrespectful kids are solemn and caring? Where does that come from? However, if they had worked that into the script, instead of giving the Fratellis so much screen time, we would have a movie with characters we care about.

Does anyone not come away from this movie thinking: It is a bunch of kids yelling all the time? I want to like those kids, but they all bother me. I know they are goony...

I look at the cast and I think: Wow! Corey Feldman is in this. It has to be good. Unfortunately, they didn't center the movie on him and that was their first mistake. Short Round is in it. I think if Keanu Reeves had been in it, there may have been some hope... Sean Astin is okay, but he bothers me in this. He does not carry the movie and he needs to. We need to like him more and we don't.

I look at the beginning and they didn't draw me in to the Goonie world. They had the overly complicated contraption which was creative. Mouth (Corey Feldman) was doing his bit with the housekeeper. Short Round was doing his gadgetry and Chunk was fat and awkward. The stereotypes were all present and not helping it.

It is one of those movies where I feel like I missed something. I watch it from beginning to end and it has that feeling of chopped-up movie with all the wrong scenes left in. I know it is a sentimental favourite of many, many people in my generation...

11 May 2008

Mama Loved the Roses

As I reflect on Mother's Day, I am happy that my wife is now a Mother. She has wanted this for a long time. She has watched her family and friends all go through motherhood and she has had to patiently sit and watch waiting for her opportunity. And it is here. And we are so happy.

Last weekend, my Mom came to visit along with my Dad, sister and her family. I am really perplexed by the amount of hard work my Mother puts in to everything. I suppose it was a vacation, because she got to be with her first grandson. But, she was always working. Even with the kids, she works. Saturday night, she was just chopping fruit and vegetables. Long into the night...
I look at it and I want to be like my Mom, but I am not right now. I am not even close. I am way too lazy. I do get joy out of work, but I have a long way to go.

My Mother-In-Law is really enjoying her status as a Grandmother. So much so that I think she is the one we all call to babysit. Designated. I appreciate this, but I want her to know that we will not take it for granted. We will pay her as best we know how, by letting her spend more time with our son.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to the great Mothers out there who allow their great ethical qualities to be brought forth.

05 May 2008

Roommate Update: Sleeping Location

I am confused. We have a good sized house. We went out of our way to prepare the bedroom. We repainted it, put beadboard in and moulding. We bought a new bed and a couple of shelf things. So why is our roommate, D, not sleeping in his own room?

For some reason, he spends most of his time sleeping in our room.

I remember at Belmont having roommates which were really fun to talk to. I used to sit on the floor in C and J's room and talk with them in their room for much of the night. As late as it went, I never spent the night in there.

But D has made up a little spot in our room along the wall. And, it does not look like he is budging. We are very concerned about his comfort. Roommates deserve every amenity that we can afford. But, this is a little strange.

I should probably say something to him, but in the words of George McFly, "I am not very good at... confrontations."

He may just need to get more comfortable in our surroundings. I used to sleep on the couch all the time. I know my roommates could not understand that one...

30 April 2008

Ready. Aim. Fire!


I went to the doctor today and while there, I was given the responsibility of peeing in the cup. She said to just leave it on the back of the toilet after I am done.

For some guys, I am sure this is pretty easy. But I have a tremor...

Now, the ideal is to have just enough pee so that I don't have to shift the cup and risk getting pee all over my hand. But, that is pretty tough. I think the bladder has some sort of gauge inside which will not allow a build up less than the cup size. And that is just one thing to worry about...

I don't like that they say to leave it on the back of the toilet. What if some other guy has to do the test at the same time? I would rather that they make me walk out there with cup in hand full of apple juice and give it directly to the nurse. That is not awkward at all. I think she should have to get the black marker out and handle the cup without a protective glove on. I did not get a glove when I went in there.

And why can't that cup be bigger? Why not make it the size of the toilet? Wouldn't it be better if they gave the patient a 5 gallon bucket? Then, it would be easier for women too. The nurses could take it out, sloshing it around. It has a handle and when they are done, they can flip it over and use it as a seat.

Although, I am sure my wife is saying: "Nope! 5 Gallon buckets are still not wide enough for you. Let's use the whole restroom as the cup."

From New to Veteran

Our new roommate is now considered the roommate. He has graduated to that status. Besides, people will stop asking: Oh, when did he move in?

Tonight, we had a good time. He likes to workout. That is one thing I liked about some of my old roommates. They would inspire me to go to the gym. It was all about getting huge so you could get chicks. And, it worked so well... He is a pretty strong guy. He does this real high intensity stomach exercises where he shifts his head back and forth with as little support from his arms as possible. I can't do stuff like that. I am lucky if I get in a good set of push-ups.

D is helping me to stop watching tv. If I am watching dumb shows like CSI and CSI:Miami by myself, I only have me to answer to, but I do not want him knowing that I am into that stuff. Embarrassing. We watch sports together though. He seems okay with that. I am glad he does not insist on watching every second of SportsCenter. My old roommates had to watch that over and over in the same day. And, it was like Get a newspaper!

This weekend he has some family coming into town. He has a big event going on with his church on Sunday. I don't want to pry in on what his beliefs are, but it would be nice if someone invites us to the church. I always liked to support my roommates in what they had going on.

26 April 2008

New Roommate Update



The new roommate, D, is getting settled. We are starting to notice patterns in his behaviour. He usually wears pajamas which I have never seen in other roommates. They are funny though. They are like jumpsuits. He seems to be some sort of Elvis impersonator walking around the house doing karate chops and making that "Uh uh Huh" sound.

He starts his day off by using the restroom. He kind of uses the restroom a lot. He must drink lots of water and eat plenty of fiber. Then, he changes into some really nice cottony clothes. He always looks very comfortable. My brother-in-law, E, pointed out that D has Emo hair. He has not acted terribly Emo. He does not hang out in his room all day being morose. He has no black clothes. I guess he does not smile that much, but he seems normal. Am I being stereotypical and intolerant? I don't want anything weird in my house... well, weirder than me.

He has some very refined eating habits. He generally eats the same thing my wife eats. I am not sure what it is about her choices of food that make him so gung-ho. Of course, she and I eat most of the same food. But D just loves those Creamies. And eggs. And, of course green beans. Whole cans!

I am thinking he might be a magician of some sort. He has these real colorful straight jackets that we help him put on. Then, we turn our eyes and his hands have been free. I don't know how he does it. He is also very masterful-looking with his hands. We will be talking with him and he just moves his hands around with real great emphasis. I thought he was aspiring to be an actor like Captain Kirk or Hamlet or something.


It is hard to know what he is up to exactly. He is still pretty young. As a roommate, I try to make it a rule not to get in the way of people's dreams and aspirations. So, if he wants to be some Captain Kirk style Elvis magician, by all means. We encourage that kind of free-spirited behaviour in our home. Well, as long as they pay their rent of course.