The Unthinkable

There are some things you just don't do. You don't put toilet paper on the roll with the squares coming out the bottom. You don't take the last piece of gum when others are in the car. Most importantly, you don't pull through at Costco. Other stores, you can get away with pulling through. Not at Costco. There is an expectation. There are rules. 

Tonight, I decided to go to Costco to get some milk. Just milk. As I meandered through the parking lot in the car, I started to pull into a spot and suddenly saw the opportunity. The guy on the other side was backing out. He was going slow, so I thought maybe he was just taking awhile to park. 

But no! There was my opportunity! I jumped on it. I pulled through...

As I did so, suddenly chaos started to rear its ugly head. There was an SUV lined up to go in to the pulled through spot and I greedily took it away from him. Repenting of my mistake, I quickly tried to back into the spot I was originally going into, but another car was already there. I turned around and saw the SUV driver. I tried to say I was sorry, but he sped off two spaces down.

"Just breathe. It's okay," I tried to tell myself. It will be fine. I'll get the milk and then I will leave and hope that the space/time continuum that I disrupted will not be too far out of whack. Thoughts of finding another spot and parking correctly raced through my head as I quickly walked inside Costco. No. I can handle this.

I got my items. Milk and Apple Sauce. Costco wins this round.

When I arrived back at my car with my shopping cart, I was reminded of my huge mistake. What have I done?! How am I going to park the cart and easily put the items in my trunk? I was frantic. I thought I could put the items in the front seat but it wouldn't work. I would have to reach too far to get them when I got home. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

I was going to have to do two trips. This was a nightmare! I parked the cart hoping it would not roll away. I tried to keylessly open the trunk. It wouldn't budge! I had to open it manually! Oh no! Three trips! And then I would have to put the cart in the cart stall.

The cart stall was bad too. The guy who does the carts was there arranging them in his way. Here I am with another cart messing up his whole mojo. I pushed it over to him as he looked annoyed. Actually, he wasn't annoyed. He was friendly as all Costco employees are. But I knew. He was secretly angry because he saw that I was parked incorrectly. At Costco.

I got back to the car and pulled away hoping that the vortex would allow me back in...