30 October 2010
20 July 2010
Trimming
Last week, three of my nieces cut their own hair. When one thinks of this, it usually conjures up the classic diagonal cuts, hair that once fell into place now all choppy. Then, their mothers had to try and fix it. And, so it then becomes a sort of repair job which still does not look right, but no longer looks horrifying. Something to look forward to I am sure.
Then, without warning, that same week, our neighborhood was attacked by my nieces. They came in the form of city workers whose job it was to maul and chop our trees. The city claims that this is done to make way for the street sweeper, who we have not seen on our street in the 4 years we have lived here.
But my nieces had a different approach. They just haphazardly sawed the trees this way and that. They would leave stumps of branches, so we could hang our hats on them if we needed to. They would take the chainsaw to anything that was in the way. And sometimes not even close to in the way. It was as senseless as little girls cutting their hair. So, like their mothers did, I went out there that night to repair what I could.
Now, my approach is more how I would handle a nephew who cut his hair. Just buzz it. Those trees now look like they won't be seeing a pair of scissors for at least another 4 years. But at least they do not look all flat anymore.
On a side note, my dog decided to clip our tomato plant as if he was a gardener. Instead of using shears he used his teeth. He seems to be somewhat systematic though. He is clipping off our plants one by one. Just when we have hope that he may leave them alone, he takes another one out. I think he is operating independently of my nieces...
Then, without warning, that same week, our neighborhood was attacked by my nieces. They came in the form of city workers whose job it was to maul and chop our trees. The city claims that this is done to make way for the street sweeper, who we have not seen on our street in the 4 years we have lived here.
But my nieces had a different approach. They just haphazardly sawed the trees this way and that. They would leave stumps of branches, so we could hang our hats on them if we needed to. They would take the chainsaw to anything that was in the way. And sometimes not even close to in the way. It was as senseless as little girls cutting their hair. So, like their mothers did, I went out there that night to repair what I could.
Now, my approach is more how I would handle a nephew who cut his hair. Just buzz it. Those trees now look like they won't be seeing a pair of scissors for at least another 4 years. But at least they do not look all flat anymore.
On a side note, my dog decided to clip our tomato plant as if he was a gardener. Instead of using shears he used his teeth. He seems to be somewhat systematic though. He is clipping off our plants one by one. Just when we have hope that he may leave them alone, he takes another one out. I think he is operating independently of my nieces...
26 February 2010
The Real Sea World
I think the Killer Whale was given that name back in the seventies when things were considered "killer" as a substitute for the word "cool". They couldn't just call him the Cool Whale or the Bitchen Whale. He was the Killer Whale. In the sixties, he may have been known as the Groovy Whale. In the fifties, the Hip Whale and in the Forties, the Swingin' Whale. And the thirties they would have just been known as Clark Gable.
Right now, they are not thinking that the Killer Whale is very cool. I suppose many are thinking that we should not be going to see them performing tricks and stuff. When one looks at it, the whales are being treated pretty well. It's the trainers who are getting the raw deal. But they ask for it. Not to be drowned and all, but it's a risk.
The trainers do wear those wet suits which make them look like little whales. If I suddenly saw a fish dressed up like me, how would I react? I would probably insist on him sitting at the table and have tea with me. Or a soda. I would be having so much fun with my new human friend, it would not even occur to me that he would not be able to breathe.
They say this particular whale had problems before. He has a record. A couple convictions, a DUI... He was a mess. So why keep him? Couldn't they just let him loose? See how he does with other whales. Maybe he would not think it was so funny when he slips and falls into a great white feeding frenzy. Or does it not work that way? Would it actually have to be a killer whale feeding frenzy? Now that would be Whale Wars. And not bad reality tv.
Maybe this killer whale should get his own reality tv series. He could constantly be interviewed and explain to everyone that he was the victim all along. None of these other incidents were his fault at all. "The guy suddenly showed up in my tank with no clothes on. I was just trying to help him get dressed."
Right now, they are not thinking that the Killer Whale is very cool. I suppose many are thinking that we should not be going to see them performing tricks and stuff. When one looks at it, the whales are being treated pretty well. It's the trainers who are getting the raw deal. But they ask for it. Not to be drowned and all, but it's a risk.
The trainers do wear those wet suits which make them look like little whales. If I suddenly saw a fish dressed up like me, how would I react? I would probably insist on him sitting at the table and have tea with me. Or a soda. I would be having so much fun with my new human friend, it would not even occur to me that he would not be able to breathe.
They say this particular whale had problems before. He has a record. A couple convictions, a DUI... He was a mess. So why keep him? Couldn't they just let him loose? See how he does with other whales. Maybe he would not think it was so funny when he slips and falls into a great white feeding frenzy. Or does it not work that way? Would it actually have to be a killer whale feeding frenzy? Now that would be Whale Wars. And not bad reality tv.
Maybe this killer whale should get his own reality tv series. He could constantly be interviewed and explain to everyone that he was the victim all along. None of these other incidents were his fault at all. "The guy suddenly showed up in my tank with no clothes on. I was just trying to help him get dressed."
24 February 2010
Scenes from Next Week
I was doing a puzzle last week with some kids. It was a 1,000 piece one with an old Mickey Mouse poster. I am a firm believer in not looking at the box as I do a puzzle. Obviously, when I first buy the puzzle or get it as a present, I see the picture on the front. Now, I suppose I could try and focus my energy on it at that point and remember where everything goes and that would not constitute looking at the box while doing the puzzle.
I am also the type of person who does not want to see the scenes from next week's episode of LOST or 24 or whatever exciting adventure show there is. I don't want to know. I want to experience it all for the first time next week when it happens. It just seems more fun that way. I don't understand why someone wants to know.
Now, I do make an exception when it comes to TV shows which don't really have a story to them. Like, most reality shows, I could care less if I see scenes from next week. That is probably because if I miss it, it will not be the end of the world. In fact, it will probably be a major blessing in my life if I do miss it. Like, I will actually have thought and learning emanating from me instead of drool and stupor.
I know there are some people who have to know everything they are going to get for Christmas in advance. I know some people cannot wait to watch the upcoming Twilight trailer. But doesn't seeing those scenes out of context ruin it somewhat?
I think it is funny that oftentimes DVDs will include the Theatrical Trailer. Does anyone ever watch those? I know we saw them in the theatre, but why would one ever go back and watch the theatrical trailer for Willow or Howard the Duck? Okay. I admit I watched the trailer for Willow. I don't remember ever seeing the trailer for Willow. In fact, I did not see Willow until it came on HBO. And then, I saw it every time it was on.
But, I guess my point on trailers is that they are designed to get people's interest, but they have no intrinsic value to them whatsoever. Somebody please name a good trailer. I don't think anyone can. They are all so worthless and provide nothing good that people are just left with an empty feeling.
Look at the new trailer for Clash of the Titans. What a piece of junk that is going to be. Or is it? The trailer is so bad. It has no perspective. Just a bunch of amazing CG shots. Whoopedee doo! Like, we have not seen that in every other movie that has come out in the last 10 years...
I am also the type of person who does not want to see the scenes from next week's episode of LOST or 24 or whatever exciting adventure show there is. I don't want to know. I want to experience it all for the first time next week when it happens. It just seems more fun that way. I don't understand why someone wants to know.
Now, I do make an exception when it comes to TV shows which don't really have a story to them. Like, most reality shows, I could care less if I see scenes from next week. That is probably because if I miss it, it will not be the end of the world. In fact, it will probably be a major blessing in my life if I do miss it. Like, I will actually have thought and learning emanating from me instead of drool and stupor.
I know there are some people who have to know everything they are going to get for Christmas in advance. I know some people cannot wait to watch the upcoming Twilight trailer. But doesn't seeing those scenes out of context ruin it somewhat?
I think it is funny that oftentimes DVDs will include the Theatrical Trailer. Does anyone ever watch those? I know we saw them in the theatre, but why would one ever go back and watch the theatrical trailer for Willow or Howard the Duck? Okay. I admit I watched the trailer for Willow. I don't remember ever seeing the trailer for Willow. In fact, I did not see Willow until it came on HBO. And then, I saw it every time it was on.
But, I guess my point on trailers is that they are designed to get people's interest, but they have no intrinsic value to them whatsoever. Somebody please name a good trailer. I don't think anyone can. They are all so worthless and provide nothing good that people are just left with an empty feeling.
Look at the new trailer for Clash of the Titans. What a piece of junk that is going to be. Or is it? The trailer is so bad. It has no perspective. Just a bunch of amazing CG shots. Whoopedee doo! Like, we have not seen that in every other movie that has come out in the last 10 years...
04 January 2010
The Dish and the Spoon
As I was reading Hey Diddle Diddle the other night, I decided to interpret it.
Hey Diddle Diddle
The cat and the fiddle.
Diddle represents people. The commonfolk.
The fiddle is an instrument of the devil, so the cat represents Satan calling to the common people with "Hey you! Listen to me!"
The cow jumped over the moon.
A cow is an animal which provides meat and milk and is not known for being able to jump much at all. Jumping over the moon is more like orbiting the moon. So, I think this is a metaphor of Galileo. And, taking the sustenance of the people and allowing it to leave earth to possibly never come back is a major risk.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport
The little dog is the church who rejected Galileo's theories. Because little dogs or puppies are so appealling to people, this had a tremendous effect on the masses.
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
The dish and the spoon represent high society, who never really care about the significance of major events. They are too busy involved with affairs and dining out.
Hey Diddle Diddle
The cat and the fiddle.
Diddle represents people. The commonfolk.
The fiddle is an instrument of the devil, so the cat represents Satan calling to the common people with "Hey you! Listen to me!"
The cow jumped over the moon.
A cow is an animal which provides meat and milk and is not known for being able to jump much at all. Jumping over the moon is more like orbiting the moon. So, I think this is a metaphor of Galileo. And, taking the sustenance of the people and allowing it to leave earth to possibly never come back is a major risk.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport
The little dog is the church who rejected Galileo's theories. Because little dogs or puppies are so appealling to people, this had a tremendous effect on the masses.
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
The dish and the spoon represent high society, who never really care about the significance of major events. They are too busy involved with affairs and dining out.
Reality Bit
We watched Reality Bites last night. I guess that was my generation, but hardly my crowd. That does not stop me from identifying with Michael's character (Ben Stiller) though. He has Doctor Zaius on his desk. Why would that not be cool?
As I rooted for Troy (Ethan Hawke) and Lelaina (Winona Ryder) to get together, I found myself asking: Why? Why do I want these two horrible people to be happy? Then again, if they can be happy together, maybe that keeps others from being miserable.
The most redeeming part was seeing Leleina's video chopped up to be funny and commercialized. It was so pretentious and lame to begin with. Why was Michael apologizing to her? He should have just smiled as she walked away. He should have known that no amount of sucking up to her was going to get him anywhere.
As I rooted for Troy (Ethan Hawke) and Lelaina (Winona Ryder) to get together, I found myself asking: Why? Why do I want these two horrible people to be happy? Then again, if they can be happy together, maybe that keeps others from being miserable.
The most redeeming part was seeing Leleina's video chopped up to be funny and commercialized. It was so pretentious and lame to begin with. Why was Michael apologizing to her? He should have just smiled as she walked away. He should have known that no amount of sucking up to her was going to get him anywhere.
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