I am no longer dreaming of a white Christmas. It is here in all its fluffy glory. Snow. Everywhere. It was here already, so we did not have to worry too much. The roads were getting that brownish snow look, which is kind of gross, but other than that, it has been pretty cool.
I grew up where the snow did not ever come. Something about climate. It hardly ever rains there, so why would it snow? So, it is neat to see it and be a part of it.
I am somewhat fascinated by the idea of being able to handle harsh climates. Not that this is a harsh climate, but where I am from, everything is harsh. If one cannot wear shorts every day of the year, it is harsh. The concept of having to go out and shovel a driveway. Or learning to drive in snow. These are the things that a wild imagination thrives on.
25 December 2008
07 December 2008
Retro Movie Critic - Backdraft Hairdo
Last night, I stayed up until 3:30am watching a movie I really needed to see. Actually, I probably did not need to see it. I have seen it before and it was not that good the first time. But, there was a certain fascination with it since it is a firefighter movie which has a lot of good actors in it. It also has that quality to it where even though I have watched it from beginning to end it still feels like I have missed part of it, or at least some significant scenes.
The movie is Backdraft. I think its problem is its main character. Brian, played by William Baldwin, basically sucks. It is his hair. There are scenes where his hair is assuming Kevin Bacon quality, but he does not have Kevin Bacon coolness. I assume that it is why we have not seen Billy Baldwin in too much lately. Other people were not impressed by his hair either.
Kurt Russell plays Brian's older brother, Steven. I am okay with the name Steve, but having the name "Steven" drummed into my head over and over again is a little maddening.
The movie is really about Steven, nicknamed Bull. He is the only one we care about. There is this sibling rivalry thing going on and we see the heroic nature of Steven going on. It is not hard to take his side as he is trying to impress upon Brian what it takes to be a firefighter.
But Brian is the everyman. He represents all of us, the guys who try hard but just do not get it. And that is sad, because there are probably very few actual Stevens out there, but we have a whole host of Brians. We see him give up and go work for Deniro and that is the weakness that Steven expected out of him. I do not know for sure, but I would guess that being a firefighter is more about picking one's self up and working at it continually, because it is such a difficult job.
Donald Sutherland is sort of a surprise character in this. He is a great actor and his scenes are among the best in the movie. Robert Deniro is close behind him. JT Walsh was good too, but he is such a love to hate type character. Jennifer Jason Leigh was forgettable. She has had good roles, but she is so obviously not a blonde in this and the chemistry between her and Baldwin is like watching two kids squirt each other with squirt guns from 5 feet away from each other.
The only other painful part of it was Rebecca DeMornay who played Steven's separated wife. She represents the everywoman, the wife of the firefighter, who cannot deal with the fact that her husband is putting his life on the line all the time, so she kicks him out of the house. And, they have a little boy as well who has to deal with his Mother's weakness all the time. I realize that there are women out there who are really like this, but do we have to see it in one of the only firefighter movies that is out there? I want to see heroes and heroines.
Sometimes, I wonder about Ron Howard. It is almost like he has no personal style to his movies, other than making sure his brother is in all his movies. One day, we will say that something is very Howardian, which will be a slam because as far as I can tell, Ron Howard goes straight from the script. There is no deviation from anything. It is just a predictable movie with standard, normal characters. I guess it works for our society.
I really do feel bad ripping on Ron Howard. I liked Splash and Willow and a couple other ones, but even those ones have that Howardian feel to it, like we are getting exactly what we paid for, no more, no less...
The movie is Backdraft. I think its problem is its main character. Brian, played by William Baldwin, basically sucks. It is his hair. There are scenes where his hair is assuming Kevin Bacon quality, but he does not have Kevin Bacon coolness. I assume that it is why we have not seen Billy Baldwin in too much lately. Other people were not impressed by his hair either.
Kurt Russell plays Brian's older brother, Steven. I am okay with the name Steve, but having the name "Steven" drummed into my head over and over again is a little maddening.
The movie is really about Steven, nicknamed Bull. He is the only one we care about. There is this sibling rivalry thing going on and we see the heroic nature of Steven going on. It is not hard to take his side as he is trying to impress upon Brian what it takes to be a firefighter.
But Brian is the everyman. He represents all of us, the guys who try hard but just do not get it. And that is sad, because there are probably very few actual Stevens out there, but we have a whole host of Brians. We see him give up and go work for Deniro and that is the weakness that Steven expected out of him. I do not know for sure, but I would guess that being a firefighter is more about picking one's self up and working at it continually, because it is such a difficult job.
Donald Sutherland is sort of a surprise character in this. He is a great actor and his scenes are among the best in the movie. Robert Deniro is close behind him. JT Walsh was good too, but he is such a love to hate type character. Jennifer Jason Leigh was forgettable. She has had good roles, but she is so obviously not a blonde in this and the chemistry between her and Baldwin is like watching two kids squirt each other with squirt guns from 5 feet away from each other.
The only other painful part of it was Rebecca DeMornay who played Steven's separated wife. She represents the everywoman, the wife of the firefighter, who cannot deal with the fact that her husband is putting his life on the line all the time, so she kicks him out of the house. And, they have a little boy as well who has to deal with his Mother's weakness all the time. I realize that there are women out there who are really like this, but do we have to see it in one of the only firefighter movies that is out there? I want to see heroes and heroines.
Sometimes, I wonder about Ron Howard. It is almost like he has no personal style to his movies, other than making sure his brother is in all his movies. One day, we will say that something is very Howardian, which will be a slam because as far as I can tell, Ron Howard goes straight from the script. There is no deviation from anything. It is just a predictable movie with standard, normal characters. I guess it works for our society.
I really do feel bad ripping on Ron Howard. I liked Splash and Willow and a couple other ones, but even those ones have that Howardian feel to it, like we are getting exactly what we paid for, no more, no less...
17 November 2008
Lunch
I left my jacket in the car and walked in with my friends. It was a pleasant restaurant. It had that cheesy fake wood paneling along the walls, with various pieces of flair adorning the open spots. There was an extension cord sticking out of the side of the bar indicating that there was no intention by the owner to actually make any aspect of the place look professional. Good! I thought. That is how I want my steak sandwich. I want the focus put on that. Who cares if there is fake brick paneling not meeting up at the breaks? Who cares if the open sign has not lit up in half a century or that there was a plant hanging from a hook which was looking less and less hook like?
It was cold in there. I wished I had my jacket. I couldn't get up to get it since I did not drive and we were packed into our seats like the clothes in the dryers at the laundromat next door. We waited forever watching M gulp down his butterscotch milkshake, wishing we had gotten one too. But then the conflict of cold and the stomach problems.
The conversation ebbed and flowed. B had only smart-ass answers. L was not his usual start up the controversy self. Something must have been on his mind. Even M had less to say than usual. J was not impressed with his sandwich, longing for the replica from the Italian Place. Mc responded to the Real Salt Lake game conversation, or was that earlier in the day? And D. What did D say? Was he in character? I tried to draw out S with the stupidly sarcastic: "That's weird! S has been unusually quiet today."
By and by we left but not before seeing the Chargers/Steelers highlight over and over. A blown ref call did not hurt the Steelers, nor help the Chargers, but it did make Vegas a little happier.
The food was good. Well, not good. Just good. Mostly good. Call it good.
It was cold in there. I wished I had my jacket. I couldn't get up to get it since I did not drive and we were packed into our seats like the clothes in the dryers at the laundromat next door. We waited forever watching M gulp down his butterscotch milkshake, wishing we had gotten one too. But then the conflict of cold and the stomach problems.
The conversation ebbed and flowed. B had only smart-ass answers. L was not his usual start up the controversy self. Something must have been on his mind. Even M had less to say than usual. J was not impressed with his sandwich, longing for the replica from the Italian Place. Mc responded to the Real Salt Lake game conversation, or was that earlier in the day? And D. What did D say? Was he in character? I tried to draw out S with the stupidly sarcastic: "That's weird! S has been unusually quiet today."
By and by we left but not before seeing the Chargers/Steelers highlight over and over. A blown ref call did not hurt the Steelers, nor help the Chargers, but it did make Vegas a little happier.
The food was good. Well, not good. Just good. Mostly good. Call it good.
So hipp
So I found a new way to waste my time... Facebook! Actually, I got pressured into it by my peers. B and S (in that order) made fun of me for not being with it and having a facebook account. Then, they mocked me for writing in a blog.
This is what I have to say to all you out there who have to have the latest and greatest everything. You don't.
You don't have the latest and greatest. You bought something that went out of style five minutes after you bought it. You downloaded something that was out of date before it finished downloading. You are constantly swimming upstream not enjoying the nice, old canoe you are towing with a rope.
I know my tv is outdated. So is my computer. Our truck and car. Our dvd player. And our dvd's. My wallet is outdated. My iphone is outdated. I read from books and I keep my receipts. I have not bought a new cd in over a year.
So, here I lament writing in my blog, feeling so out of touch and behind the times. Ha! I feel vindicated writing in here, because when it comes right down to it, this is where I express myself. Oh, that I had an old fashioned typewriter and could pound on the keys in my loud house.
This is what I have to say to all you out there who have to have the latest and greatest everything. You don't.
You don't have the latest and greatest. You bought something that went out of style five minutes after you bought it. You downloaded something that was out of date before it finished downloading. You are constantly swimming upstream not enjoying the nice, old canoe you are towing with a rope.
I know my tv is outdated. So is my computer. Our truck and car. Our dvd player. And our dvd's. My wallet is outdated. My iphone is outdated. I read from books and I keep my receipts. I have not bought a new cd in over a year.
So, here I lament writing in my blog, feeling so out of touch and behind the times. Ha! I feel vindicated writing in here, because when it comes right down to it, this is where I express myself. Oh, that I had an old fashioned typewriter and could pound on the keys in my loud house.
08 November 2008
Reflections On a Beautiful Fall Day
While I was waiting for the traffic to clear after the game, I saw this old man walking. He startled me because he walked right past the truck. It looked as if he was doing a lap around the church. I thought a little bit about what he was doing. It was a nice day today, but I would imagine this man goes for a walk every day. He struck me as a possible widower who was trying to occupy his day.
It is very interesting to think about the various cycles we are going through in our lives. We are hit with periods where we seemingly have lots of extra time. Unfortunately, those are usually lonely times. I suppose once we start sharing our lives, time shared becomes extremely busy time. I love having that sort of purpose, but in reflecting on this old man, I wonder if he misses out on the days of lots of activity.
Like the old man, I would do walks in very social areas. I would just want to be out, taking in the world, being a part of what was going on. At the end of A River Runs Through It, the narrator is fishing by himself, knowing that most of his family is gone. I think despite the sadness of that, the idea of him fishing is a very positive image.
The elderly are still such a valuable part of our society. They may be retired, but do they want to be? I know their bones creak and they cannot do all that they once did, but they still like eating pizza, don't they?
It is very interesting to think about the various cycles we are going through in our lives. We are hit with periods where we seemingly have lots of extra time. Unfortunately, those are usually lonely times. I suppose once we start sharing our lives, time shared becomes extremely busy time. I love having that sort of purpose, but in reflecting on this old man, I wonder if he misses out on the days of lots of activity.
Like the old man, I would do walks in very social areas. I would just want to be out, taking in the world, being a part of what was going on. At the end of A River Runs Through It, the narrator is fishing by himself, knowing that most of his family is gone. I think despite the sadness of that, the idea of him fishing is a very positive image.
The elderly are still such a valuable part of our society. They may be retired, but do they want to be? I know their bones creak and they cannot do all that they once did, but they still like eating pizza, don't they?
27 October 2008
Graveyard Guess 2008
The rules are simple:
a. Submit your guesses without looking them up. You can do that after.
b. The people have to have died within the last year. Halloween 2007 to Halloween 2008
a. Submit your guesses without looking them up. You can do that after.
b. The people have to have died within the last year. Halloween 2007 to Halloween 2008
12 October 2008
No Windows... And No Doors...
Halloween approacheth.
For me, Halloween has so many applications. It is such a creative holiday.
Let's create a haunted house, path, trail, etc. Let's figure out the best way to make people feel uncomfortable. Scare them. What is scary?
+ Well, death is scary.
- Okay, so let's put it in a graveyard.
+ But those people have already died. What about making it in a dark place?
- Are there going to be chicks there?
+ I hope so. We have to have screams.
- How about having severed heads on the ground talking to people as they walk by?
+ Or, we could have arms holding candles in the hallway.
- What about having them walk through a certain section bare foot and there could be eyeballs on the ground?
+ Well, chainsaws usually scare people.
- Yeah, chainsaws are scary, but so is any loud sound. A loud air conditioner can be scary.
Then again, aren't haunted houses just representing the kind of places that young girls should not be going to? Yeah, my 16 year old daughter went with her "boyfriend" to this house where a few friends were supposed to be. The house has no electricity and supposedly someone died there. Also, an escaped mental patient is in the area. She should be fine though because she is with her "boyfriend" who has been a perfect gentleman and has no thoughts of sex or anything like that.
All we are doing with a haunted house is playing on our basic fears. We hate darkness. We hate death. We hate psychos. We hate clowns. We hate strobe lights. There! We covered it. We have our haunted house.
The Money Changers
My friend referred this video to me on youtube. It is called the Money Masters. It was in three sections of seven parts each and it was pretty cool, but they took it off youtube for some reason. It was obviously very conspiratorial and some of the history was a little bit of a stretch, but in one of the scenes, they mentioned the Rothchilds. And, I kept thinking: Where have I heard that name in relation to the wealthiest people in the world?
So I Married an Axe Murderer of course.
Anyway, the argument of the Money Masters is that the money changers have been using their influence over the years to make sure to have national banks, which are really private banks. There is no real control over them either. They are able to determine wealth and they keep everyone owing to them. And society has no chance whatsoever against them. Countries go to war and these people remain in power. Wars are fought for their own gain.
And, so I sit here and think: What good is this to me? Does this cause me to shun everything? I refuse to use their money. I refuse to go to war. I refuse to take any type of political stance. I refuse to work for them. I refuse to use their cars, their roads, their tvs, their microwaves. When does it end?
Maybe it is true. Maybe they control everything. I do not think it is very practical to be very concerned about it. It is interesting though. I like the idea of having information regarding these groups of people. History is a terribly important subject. And, it is so vital that as we study history we look at many angles, trying to seek out truth. From a historical perspective, this is very interesting stuff. These are the kinds of conspiracies that make history fun, but not necessarily very accurate.
So I Married an Axe Murderer of course.
Anyway, the argument of the Money Masters is that the money changers have been using their influence over the years to make sure to have national banks, which are really private banks. There is no real control over them either. They are able to determine wealth and they keep everyone owing to them. And society has no chance whatsoever against them. Countries go to war and these people remain in power. Wars are fought for their own gain.
And, so I sit here and think: What good is this to me? Does this cause me to shun everything? I refuse to use their money. I refuse to go to war. I refuse to take any type of political stance. I refuse to work for them. I refuse to use their cars, their roads, their tvs, their microwaves. When does it end?
Maybe it is true. Maybe they control everything. I do not think it is very practical to be very concerned about it. It is interesting though. I like the idea of having information regarding these groups of people. History is a terribly important subject. And, it is so vital that as we study history we look at many angles, trying to seek out truth. From a historical perspective, this is very interesting stuff. These are the kinds of conspiracies that make history fun, but not necessarily very accurate.
Some Thoughts on the Election
I feel weird talking politics on my blog. Partly because I do not know anything. And partly because most people who do know something still look like they know nothing. People throw out stuff that seems like a good point, but then they have no actual information to back it up. It just sounds like a good point.
One such point was the idea that large companies should pay higher taxes because of shared resources. The example my friend gave was roads. Since a company would have more vehicles using those roads and would be making more money from the use of those roads than the common man, they should have to pay more taxes. Some of the things left out of this argument were actual numbers. Are there taxes being applied to businesses who use these roads excessively? I know that my Grandfather, who had a trucking business, paid a ton of taxes in California. And, I know that he did not make very much money. Are the two related? I don't have the actual numbers though.
So, I do not understand how people can argue for points when they do not have facts. Speculation seems like the best they can do. And, of course, this brings us to the debates. I really do not understand the debate process. Why are we watching these things? I know what the candidate stands for. Is it all about the show? They do not seem to have their facts straight either. The Palin-Biden debate was interesting. She never answered any questions and Biden repeated a bunch of stuff. And then, some debate expert has to come along and say: It was a draw!
Isn't every debate a draw really?
When a person is being a huge jerk and gets angry and throws a tantrum, the winner is the other person, right? Person B expressed himself better. Person A had no composure. Person A had more facts, but apparently could not handle being referred to as someone who just doesn't get it. So, even though Person B resorted to name-calling, Person A is the one who deserves to lose.
Another funny thing happened recently. A McCain supporter railed against Obama and McCain came out in defense of Obama, saying that Obama would make a fine president. McCain is running for president, right? He does believe that he would make the best president, does he not? If McCain and Obama are really not much different, why is McCain in there? People have sunk millions of dollars into this candidate and he gets out there and tells his supporters that his competition will be a fine president? I understand that McCain wants to be fair and to give credit to Obama, but there would seem to be a lot at stake here. That does not sound like someone who thinks his ideas are all that great. That does not sound like someone who feels he has to be in there for the country to be where it needs to be. It does not sound like McCain is a leader.
I know that the candidates are doing their best to distance themselves from Bush. I hate that the country hates Bush so much. We elected him. We knew who he was after four years. It is not like we had no idea where he was coming from. We put him in office. Are we going to elect McCain and gripe about him for the next four years?
One such point was the idea that large companies should pay higher taxes because of shared resources. The example my friend gave was roads. Since a company would have more vehicles using those roads and would be making more money from the use of those roads than the common man, they should have to pay more taxes. Some of the things left out of this argument were actual numbers. Are there taxes being applied to businesses who use these roads excessively? I know that my Grandfather, who had a trucking business, paid a ton of taxes in California. And, I know that he did not make very much money. Are the two related? I don't have the actual numbers though.
So, I do not understand how people can argue for points when they do not have facts. Speculation seems like the best they can do. And, of course, this brings us to the debates. I really do not understand the debate process. Why are we watching these things? I know what the candidate stands for. Is it all about the show? They do not seem to have their facts straight either. The Palin-Biden debate was interesting. She never answered any questions and Biden repeated a bunch of stuff. And then, some debate expert has to come along and say: It was a draw!
Isn't every debate a draw really?
When a person is being a huge jerk and gets angry and throws a tantrum, the winner is the other person, right? Person B expressed himself better. Person A had no composure. Person A had more facts, but apparently could not handle being referred to as someone who just doesn't get it. So, even though Person B resorted to name-calling, Person A is the one who deserves to lose.
Another funny thing happened recently. A McCain supporter railed against Obama and McCain came out in defense of Obama, saying that Obama would make a fine president. McCain is running for president, right? He does believe that he would make the best president, does he not? If McCain and Obama are really not much different, why is McCain in there? People have sunk millions of dollars into this candidate and he gets out there and tells his supporters that his competition will be a fine president? I understand that McCain wants to be fair and to give credit to Obama, but there would seem to be a lot at stake here. That does not sound like someone who thinks his ideas are all that great. That does not sound like someone who feels he has to be in there for the country to be where it needs to be. It does not sound like McCain is a leader.
I know that the candidates are doing their best to distance themselves from Bush. I hate that the country hates Bush so much. We elected him. We knew who he was after four years. It is not like we had no idea where he was coming from. We put him in office. Are we going to elect McCain and gripe about him for the next four years?
29 September 2008
Almost Half a Year
Our roommate has been with us almost six months now. It is pretty fun to come home and talk with him. He smiles and laughs a ton. It is nice to have that in a roommate. I have had some who I would just dread coming home to. What do they have to complain about now? D is not like that. He makes us feel like we are the best. And what more could one ask from a roommate?
We took him up the canyon last weekend to see the fall colours. He slept through it though. He had a really tough week. I think his boss has been a little hard on him. There is this expectation for him to perform at top efficiency according to very rigid schedules. He can't keep his food down and he is starting to lose his hair. I know that he works in a high stress environment, but he gets paid well. We support him in his efforts. It is inspiring to see someone keep up the fight.
On Saturday, he participated in the Walk for Diabetes with us. I appreciated him coming along, because I know that he has plenty of other options. He has friends everywhere we go. He has that ability to make friends too. It is weird how people are so taken in by just a smile and a handshake. He does not have diabetes himself, but he really cares about those who do. I have heard him say the nicest things about those with the dreaded disease, going to the extent of thanking them for things they have done for him. Sometimes, I marvel at his ability to see into the hearts of people and not worry about the other extraneous things.
D's grandfather came to visit and the two of them were great to see together. D just laughed and laughed as if his grandfather was the funniest guy. He was funny, but D was in stitches. I love my grandparents, but it is rare to really have a good laugh when they are telling me stories. I look at this as yet another example of how D lives in the moment...
D is a great guy. We are really lucky to have such a fantastic roommate.
We took him up the canyon last weekend to see the fall colours. He slept through it though. He had a really tough week. I think his boss has been a little hard on him. There is this expectation for him to perform at top efficiency according to very rigid schedules. He can't keep his food down and he is starting to lose his hair. I know that he works in a high stress environment, but he gets paid well. We support him in his efforts. It is inspiring to see someone keep up the fight.
On Saturday, he participated in the Walk for Diabetes with us. I appreciated him coming along, because I know that he has plenty of other options. He has friends everywhere we go. He has that ability to make friends too. It is weird how people are so taken in by just a smile and a handshake. He does not have diabetes himself, but he really cares about those who do. I have heard him say the nicest things about those with the dreaded disease, going to the extent of thanking them for things they have done for him. Sometimes, I marvel at his ability to see into the hearts of people and not worry about the other extraneous things.
D's grandfather came to visit and the two of them were great to see together. D just laughed and laughed as if his grandfather was the funniest guy. He was funny, but D was in stitches. I love my grandparents, but it is rare to really have a good laugh when they are telling me stories. I look at this as yet another example of how D lives in the moment...
D is a great guy. We are really lucky to have such a fantastic roommate.
20 September 2008
Some Pretty Groovy Tunes
A co-worker had never heard of The Stone Roses. I had to introduce him to them this week. I brought in a few of my Brit Pop cd's. Suede, The Verve, Ride, Blur.
My friend, J, used to bring me cd's all the time. "Here! Listen to this!" Fortunately, it was all great music including those listed above. J was the one who clued me into the coolness of Brian Eno. Eno produced my favourite U2 cd's. Also, a couple James. Something about Eno's style just rang true to me.
I feel bad, because my music listening has totally come to a screeching halt. I listen to tons of talk radio these days. I switch it over on the commercials, but I rarely listen to anything new.
And that is a problem, because there is always new, good stuff coming out. Unfortunately, J does not come over all the time anymore and drop off cd's to listen to. I bet he would if he only lived a little closer. Maybe he can mail me some.
J! If you can hear me, mail me some new Brit Pop! (No Keane or Coldplay though. I hear plenty of them...)
10 September 2008
Fame! I Want to Live Forever!
I don't have any, so I feel like I can talk about fame objectively. People who are famous have a tremendous burden. Or burdens. The main one is the fact that people everywhere love them for nothing that they have done for anyone but themselves.
One guy wrote a song about a girl and it got picked up on the radio. One girl wrote some songs about a guy and it made her millions. An actor got a break and starred in a movie with a theme that grossed people out. A politician said some things that a lot of people agreed with. A girl wrote a book about her experiences living with the polar bears in Alaska. The list goes on and on, but the one thing that most of them never counted on was how screwed up they would become because of the fame.
Imagine that you were so well known that when you went to Disneyland, you felt like you were as famous as Mickey Mouse. Everyone came up to you and wanted to take your picture, sign an autograph, buy you lunch, shake your hand, get your views on world domination, etc. It would be such a burden. Even if you were good with people, it would be such a hassle for the people around you, the ones that love you.
Most of these famous people do not have the proper training in being famous. Rock musicians seem to be the worst. Theirs becomes a world of partying and drug use and unlimited groupies. They really should have classes that they take in college. Fame 101. Family and Fame 201. Ego 309. With all that these people deal with, there should be a training course.
As one who is not famous, I feel for the common people who go nuts when they see a famous person. Like the time I saw Steve Young at the grocery store. I was a blithering idiot. So what! It's Steve Young. He beat the Chargers in the Super Bowl. I hate him for that. Well, not really. But I should.
What it comes down to is that the term celebrity has to go away. We need a movement in our world which is a twofold process. Celebrities need to chill out. And, the common people need to chill out. I guarantee you that Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jon Voight are really not that interesting. Madonna is probably very silly when it comes down to it.
Here is what should happen: I am hanging out at Disneyland and suddenly I see Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker and their family on the Jungle Cruise. I am not going to stare. I will recognize them in my mind. I will not point them out to my wife. She will not point them out to me. I am not going to say anything to them, because I would not say anything to a guy and his wife and their kids going on the Jungle Cruise. I suppose I could comment on the weather. I know it would be hard to not say something like: "Do you want to play a game?" in my WOPR voice or start humming "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", but I would have to refrain.
Why not just treat them like everyone else? Isn't this a major problem that we have in our society? The paparazzi is in people's faces constantly. Why? Oh, that's right! Because we can't get enough of what is going on in these stars' lives. Did I really need to know that Screech was in porno movies? Or that the dad in ALF is now a homosexual meth user?
If I end up making a big deal out of the situation, then I perpetuate the ego problem. These people are just dealing with incredibly inflated egos, all of which are based on the awe that people have of someone famous. So, if we take the awe out, then the ego gets lessened more and maybe we will not see as many articles on scantily clad female teenage singers.
You may ask: Well, why can't I get their autograph? Why can't I shake their hand? Why can't I tell them how much they mean to me?
My opinion on these questions is that they cannot reciprocate to you the same type of respect or adoration, because they have no idea what you have done. You may have invented time travel, but if they do not know you, then the love is only expressed in one direction. I think we are doing more damage to them by showering them with more praise. They probably get so much praise already from so many people, it stops meaning anything to them. I don't know about anyone else, but I want my praise to mean something to them.
I think the best form of praise we can give those who are famous entertainers is to buy tickets to their movies. Buy tickets to concerts. Buy CDs. Buy books. Support what they do. But, quit giving them something that frankly they do not deserve, nor do they really want (in the long run)
Stop making them out to be more than they are.
One guy wrote a song about a girl and it got picked up on the radio. One girl wrote some songs about a guy and it made her millions. An actor got a break and starred in a movie with a theme that grossed people out. A politician said some things that a lot of people agreed with. A girl wrote a book about her experiences living with the polar bears in Alaska. The list goes on and on, but the one thing that most of them never counted on was how screwed up they would become because of the fame.
Imagine that you were so well known that when you went to Disneyland, you felt like you were as famous as Mickey Mouse. Everyone came up to you and wanted to take your picture, sign an autograph, buy you lunch, shake your hand, get your views on world domination, etc. It would be such a burden. Even if you were good with people, it would be such a hassle for the people around you, the ones that love you.
Most of these famous people do not have the proper training in being famous. Rock musicians seem to be the worst. Theirs becomes a world of partying and drug use and unlimited groupies. They really should have classes that they take in college. Fame 101. Family and Fame 201. Ego 309. With all that these people deal with, there should be a training course.
As one who is not famous, I feel for the common people who go nuts when they see a famous person. Like the time I saw Steve Young at the grocery store. I was a blithering idiot. So what! It's Steve Young. He beat the Chargers in the Super Bowl. I hate him for that. Well, not really. But I should.
What it comes down to is that the term celebrity has to go away. We need a movement in our world which is a twofold process. Celebrities need to chill out. And, the common people need to chill out. I guarantee you that Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jon Voight are really not that interesting. Madonna is probably very silly when it comes down to it.
Here is what should happen: I am hanging out at Disneyland and suddenly I see Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker and their family on the Jungle Cruise. I am not going to stare. I will recognize them in my mind. I will not point them out to my wife. She will not point them out to me. I am not going to say anything to them, because I would not say anything to a guy and his wife and their kids going on the Jungle Cruise. I suppose I could comment on the weather. I know it would be hard to not say something like: "Do you want to play a game?" in my WOPR voice or start humming "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", but I would have to refrain.
Why not just treat them like everyone else? Isn't this a major problem that we have in our society? The paparazzi is in people's faces constantly. Why? Oh, that's right! Because we can't get enough of what is going on in these stars' lives. Did I really need to know that Screech was in porno movies? Or that the dad in ALF is now a homosexual meth user?
If I end up making a big deal out of the situation, then I perpetuate the ego problem. These people are just dealing with incredibly inflated egos, all of which are based on the awe that people have of someone famous. So, if we take the awe out, then the ego gets lessened more and maybe we will not see as many articles on scantily clad female teenage singers.
You may ask: Well, why can't I get their autograph? Why can't I shake their hand? Why can't I tell them how much they mean to me?
My opinion on these questions is that they cannot reciprocate to you the same type of respect or adoration, because they have no idea what you have done. You may have invented time travel, but if they do not know you, then the love is only expressed in one direction. I think we are doing more damage to them by showering them with more praise. They probably get so much praise already from so many people, it stops meaning anything to them. I don't know about anyone else, but I want my praise to mean something to them.
I think the best form of praise we can give those who are famous entertainers is to buy tickets to their movies. Buy tickets to concerts. Buy CDs. Buy books. Support what they do. But, quit giving them something that frankly they do not deserve, nor do they really want (in the long run)
Stop making them out to be more than they are.
02 September 2008
Outwit Outlast Take It Out
My wife and I play this game. It is kind of like Survivor, only instead of trying to be the longest one to last on the island, we are battling it out to be the longest one to last without emptying the bathroom trash. It is pretty competitive. It can stack up pretty high and because it is situated in the corner sort of wedged in between the sink cabinet and the toilet, more stuff can pile up.
I seem to remember this as being a very similar war with roommates. Little did I ever think it would continue. I remember seeing guys in one apartment who bought a gigantic outside-style garbage can. That seemed like a pretty good idea. I guess the only issue was that they did not have a lid.
My wife and I are not trying to be disgusting. If I am out in the kitchen and I see a full trash can in the pantry, no problem.
I think it comes down to this. The only time I see that trash can in the bathroom is when I am naked. And that is not the best time to go prancing around the house. That is definitely not good naked. When I am just getting out of the shower, my hands are clean. I don't want to get floss and tissues and cotton balls all over my hands (and who knows what else?) as I tie it up and take it out.
Really, it just comes down to what is in my line of vision and when. I think this probably goes for my wife too. I want to take out the trash in all the trash cans. I also want to clean all the bathrooms and pull weeds in the yard. It would be nice to dust more often and take the dog for more walks. But, let's be reasonable. We can't do everything we want...
I seem to remember this as being a very similar war with roommates. Little did I ever think it would continue. I remember seeing guys in one apartment who bought a gigantic outside-style garbage can. That seemed like a pretty good idea. I guess the only issue was that they did not have a lid.
My wife and I are not trying to be disgusting. If I am out in the kitchen and I see a full trash can in the pantry, no problem.
I think it comes down to this. The only time I see that trash can in the bathroom is when I am naked. And that is not the best time to go prancing around the house. That is definitely not good naked. When I am just getting out of the shower, my hands are clean. I don't want to get floss and tissues and cotton balls all over my hands (and who knows what else?) as I tie it up and take it out.
Really, it just comes down to what is in my line of vision and when. I think this probably goes for my wife too. I want to take out the trash in all the trash cans. I also want to clean all the bathrooms and pull weeds in the yard. It would be nice to dust more often and take the dog for more walks. But, let's be reasonable. We can't do everything we want...
28 August 2008
Pedro Gabriel
I found this clip on YouTube and it makes me uncomfortable to watch it. I do, however, like the song. Do others feel uncomfortable watching this? I have always felt uncomfortable listening to Peter Gabriel's voice. It bothers me. It shouldn't. It's not a bad voice. It is quite distinct. (Well, mostly distinct. Phil Collins sounds a lot like him.)
Perhaps it is his white utility belt. My friend says he is dressed kind of like Han Solo. I doubt that was his intention. Then again, what do I know about Peter Gabriel? Thankfully, not very much. I think there should be a rule about how much space Peter Gabriel gets on a stage to run around. I suppose Bono has quite a big loop to use. At least he doesn't skip. Or did he? He would probably have to in order to get back in time...
I decided to listen to some Peter Gabriel songs that I have been listening to for years. Let me clarify. I have been hearing for years. The radio was on. I couldn't get to the tuner fast enough to change the channel. I don't know what it is. The association with Genesis? Is it the lyrics?
Your eyes. The light. The heat.
Your eyes. the lambs all bleat.
Your eyes. In your eyes!
Games without frontiers
War without tears
James without lump ears
Sore without beers
Big time. I have got to watch it grow.
Big time. So much larger than life.
Big time. I've got to hatch it blow.
Big time. So much smaller than knife.
I mean, what does this stuff mean?
With a lot of music, I try to give it its first shot with me. Like, even though I have heard it played on the radio constantly, I still want to go and listen to it without the repetition and try to soak it in. I don't think Peter Gabriel is getting past the initial shame phase though. Whether it is fair or not, I just don't think I can do it. I am not sure I see the value in it.
Perhaps it is his white utility belt. My friend says he is dressed kind of like Han Solo. I doubt that was his intention. Then again, what do I know about Peter Gabriel? Thankfully, not very much. I think there should be a rule about how much space Peter Gabriel gets on a stage to run around. I suppose Bono has quite a big loop to use. At least he doesn't skip. Or did he? He would probably have to in order to get back in time...
I decided to listen to some Peter Gabriel songs that I have been listening to for years. Let me clarify. I have been hearing for years. The radio was on. I couldn't get to the tuner fast enough to change the channel. I don't know what it is. The association with Genesis? Is it the lyrics?
Your eyes. The light. The heat.
Your eyes. the lambs all bleat.
Your eyes. In your eyes!
Games without frontiers
War without tears
James without lump ears
Sore without beers
Big time. I have got to watch it grow.
Big time. So much larger than life.
Big time. I've got to hatch it blow.
Big time. So much smaller than knife.
I mean, what does this stuff mean?
With a lot of music, I try to give it its first shot with me. Like, even though I have heard it played on the radio constantly, I still want to go and listen to it without the repetition and try to soak it in. I don't think Peter Gabriel is getting past the initial shame phase though. Whether it is fair or not, I just don't think I can do it. I am not sure I see the value in it.
20 August 2008
The Horror... The Horror
I realize that, statistically, flying is very safe. And, aside from the uncomfortability factor of it all, it is a pretty fast way to get places.
One thing that a lot of people do not talk about though is the horror of crashing. Sure they mention the aftermath, but what about the whole notion of right before the crash? A plane full of people who know they are going to die. I think that could be a good play or movie. The many perspectives on the horror of the pre-crash.
What would that be like? Hopefully, I never find out, but to me that seems like the worst part. The actual crash would be quite instantaneous. But the seconds leading up to that...
I wonder if this is one of those things people are not supposed to talk about. Like loneliness. People never talk about being lonely, because the person who hears the lonely lament has to respond by being the person who is going to save the lonely person. This is totally ridiculous. I think people should be able to talk about loneliness. It is a rather fascinating subject.
In fact, I think it is more fascinating than the horror before a plane crash.
One thing that a lot of people do not talk about though is the horror of crashing. Sure they mention the aftermath, but what about the whole notion of right before the crash? A plane full of people who know they are going to die. I think that could be a good play or movie. The many perspectives on the horror of the pre-crash.
What would that be like? Hopefully, I never find out, but to me that seems like the worst part. The actual crash would be quite instantaneous. But the seconds leading up to that...
I wonder if this is one of those things people are not supposed to talk about. Like loneliness. People never talk about being lonely, because the person who hears the lonely lament has to respond by being the person who is going to save the lonely person. This is totally ridiculous. I think people should be able to talk about loneliness. It is a rather fascinating subject.
In fact, I think it is more fascinating than the horror before a plane crash.
18 August 2008
Decisions
An adult has to make decisions, or so I hear. Part of being an adult is making decisions and dealing with the consequences. It is kind of a hassle, because sometimes one makes the right decisions. Sometimes...
The problem is that others have to deal with one's decisions. If it was just the one person dealing with them, then he could just slap on the LOSER shirt and be done with it. But, when others have to suffer along with that person's misguidance, there just aren't enough shirts to go around.
The one I get slapped with the most is staying up late at night. I love to stay up late. There is something about being up past the point at which one "should" go to bed. I suppose it is a childish thing, but it feels like freedom. But the next morning as I sleep in, because I am definitely not losing sleep, there goes most of the day...
It is tough to argue that one, because I am wasting the day. But who wants to get up early in the morning and mow the lawn? I know my neighbors don't want me to...
But the really incredible part of decisions is that one makes so many in one day. And there are little consequences the whole day. Like, I turned on the radio this morning on the way to work, but I wanted to think, so I turned it off. But then, as I was driving, I went about 3 miles before realizing that I was spacing out. So, I needed to pay attention. So, I turned the radio back on. Or did I?
The problem is that others have to deal with one's decisions. If it was just the one person dealing with them, then he could just slap on the LOSER shirt and be done with it. But, when others have to suffer along with that person's misguidance, there just aren't enough shirts to go around.
The one I get slapped with the most is staying up late at night. I love to stay up late. There is something about being up past the point at which one "should" go to bed. I suppose it is a childish thing, but it feels like freedom. But the next morning as I sleep in, because I am definitely not losing sleep, there goes most of the day...
It is tough to argue that one, because I am wasting the day. But who wants to get up early in the morning and mow the lawn? I know my neighbors don't want me to...
But the really incredible part of decisions is that one makes so many in one day. And there are little consequences the whole day. Like, I turned on the radio this morning on the way to work, but I wanted to think, so I turned it off. But then, as I was driving, I went about 3 miles before realizing that I was spacing out. So, I needed to pay attention. So, I turned the radio back on. Or did I?
29 July 2008
Stupid TV
We just went through the cycle again. Not the washing machine, nor the Lion King symbiotic thing, but the stupid cycle of tv service. We went from Dish to Comcast. And, it is all Dish's fault. Well, sort of.
I have had a few different services over the years. I have had Comcast a few times. And, I hate the fact that they do not want me as a customer. They only want me as a new customer. They want me to switch from something else to them. But, as far as retention goes, they could care less about that. How does that work?
I would think a company would want good, satisfied customers. But no. I vowed that I would never go back to them. That would have stayed had it not been for Dish. They come in with their ten month deal, but then after that, they jump all their prices up. So, Dish is no better than Comcast. I have not had DirecTV yet, but I am sure they are just as bad.
I just want a consistent price. I don't want to have to adjust my budget constantly to meet whatever happens to be the offer currently.
I cannot believe how much we pay for TV anyway. For something that just wastes our time, why do we pay so much for it? It is this filler that we feel like we cannot do without. But wait! If I didn't spend time watching tv shows, I could:
1. Write more blog entries
2. Exercise
3. Spend more time with my family
4. Play a game.
5. Learn a new sport.
6. Read a book
7. Take a nap
8. Make a complex meal
9. Start a business
10. Do some yoga.
11. Draw
12. Clean my house
13. Pace
14. Brush my teeth.
15. Brush my hair
16. Make a pinata
17. Write a story.
18. Make up jokes
19. Drink some water
20. Dig a well.
21. Mow the lawn.
22. Do a crossword puzzle.
23. Wash the cars.
And oh, so much more.
I have had a few different services over the years. I have had Comcast a few times. And, I hate the fact that they do not want me as a customer. They only want me as a new customer. They want me to switch from something else to them. But, as far as retention goes, they could care less about that. How does that work?
I would think a company would want good, satisfied customers. But no. I vowed that I would never go back to them. That would have stayed had it not been for Dish. They come in with their ten month deal, but then after that, they jump all their prices up. So, Dish is no better than Comcast. I have not had DirecTV yet, but I am sure they are just as bad.
I just want a consistent price. I don't want to have to adjust my budget constantly to meet whatever happens to be the offer currently.
I cannot believe how much we pay for TV anyway. For something that just wastes our time, why do we pay so much for it? It is this filler that we feel like we cannot do without. But wait! If I didn't spend time watching tv shows, I could:
1. Write more blog entries
2. Exercise
3. Spend more time with my family
4. Play a game.
5. Learn a new sport.
6. Read a book
7. Take a nap
8. Make a complex meal
9. Start a business
10. Do some yoga.
11. Draw
12. Clean my house
13. Pace
14. Brush my teeth.
15. Brush my hair
16. Make a pinata
17. Write a story.
18. Make up jokes
19. Drink some water
20. Dig a well.
21. Mow the lawn.
22. Do a crossword puzzle.
23. Wash the cars.
And oh, so much more.
19 July 2008
The Password is...."password"
Technology is upon us. I think I just entered my 100th unique password. What am I doing? What are we doing? All of these sites which require a username and password... It does not really seem all that secure. Apparently, somebody knows. And how do we determine which ones we can really trust?
The news talks about bank accounts getting compromised, identities being stolen, people's personal information being found in the trash, etc. We rely upon this concept of a business being honest and forthright because otherwise they would go out of business. But what if they do not care? What if they just go bankrupt and disappear as an entity? Meanwhile, they have credit card information for thousands of customers.
Sure this is the talk of the paranoid individual who watches too many episodes of CSI and Numbers. However, the concept of big brother as identified in the book 1984 is not too far off here. We have a government which continually seeks more control. (Sorry! That is just what governments do...) But, what better way to have everyone's information than on the Internet? And, it becomes so easily searchable too. Just googling my own name is surprising.
My friend was talking about facial recognition software, which is such an awesome thing, but what is that going to be used for? Well, in CSI, they are able to track down criminals. What if I look exactly like a guy wanted for murder and all they have is a video of the guy leaving a house? No fingerprints or nothing. And my alibi is that I was sitting home alone watching tv that night...
I am not sure that any of this has any credence at all, but we have to ask questions. The problem we have is that change is so abrupt now that we can hardly keep track of what is going on.
We can order all these things on the Internet and all it requires is a credit card number. That freaks me out. My credit card is in fifty different places. Is that smart? The one thing I look for when ordering something on the internet is for the url to change from "http" to "https". That is a sign of security. Somebody is paying extra money to make people feel more secure with their cards.
I am sure that once people have their identity compromised, they are really careful. But others need to be careful too. There is way too much at stake.
So here is my list of questions that I need to do. How many different websites do I have usernames/passwords with? How much information do they each have about me? Is there a more secure account that I could create, so that they do not have to access my credit card(s)? Who has my social security number? Why do they have it? Do any of my usernames use my social security number? Do any of my usernames/passwords have any vital information about me out there? Do I give personal information about myself in chat rooms, on websites or on blogs?
The news talks about bank accounts getting compromised, identities being stolen, people's personal information being found in the trash, etc. We rely upon this concept of a business being honest and forthright because otherwise they would go out of business. But what if they do not care? What if they just go bankrupt and disappear as an entity? Meanwhile, they have credit card information for thousands of customers.
Sure this is the talk of the paranoid individual who watches too many episodes of CSI and Numbers. However, the concept of big brother as identified in the book 1984 is not too far off here. We have a government which continually seeks more control. (Sorry! That is just what governments do...) But, what better way to have everyone's information than on the Internet? And, it becomes so easily searchable too. Just googling my own name is surprising.
My friend was talking about facial recognition software, which is such an awesome thing, but what is that going to be used for? Well, in CSI, they are able to track down criminals. What if I look exactly like a guy wanted for murder and all they have is a video of the guy leaving a house? No fingerprints or nothing. And my alibi is that I was sitting home alone watching tv that night...
I am not sure that any of this has any credence at all, but we have to ask questions. The problem we have is that change is so abrupt now that we can hardly keep track of what is going on.
We can order all these things on the Internet and all it requires is a credit card number. That freaks me out. My credit card is in fifty different places. Is that smart? The one thing I look for when ordering something on the internet is for the url to change from "http" to "https". That is a sign of security. Somebody is paying extra money to make people feel more secure with their cards.
I am sure that once people have their identity compromised, they are really careful. But others need to be careful too. There is way too much at stake.
So here is my list of questions that I need to do. How many different websites do I have usernames/passwords with? How much information do they each have about me? Is there a more secure account that I could create, so that they do not have to access my credit card(s)? Who has my social security number? Why do they have it? Do any of my usernames use my social security number? Do any of my usernames/passwords have any vital information about me out there? Do I give personal information about myself in chat rooms, on websites or on blogs?
16 July 2008
To Kzzzzzzzzzzk From Wdddddddddw
I have infiltrated the man person's computer and I am sending a message back to my people on the planet of Kzzzzk, colony bzzzb. If you are listening, then please do a comment using W's account.
So far, all is well. They do not suspect a thing. As far as they know, I am a sweet little 90 kip old baby. It is really tough to get away. They keep a watch on me all the time. And getting out of their crib contraption is really tricky. I figured out there has to be a pin in there to keep it still. I got a good enough angle tonight to shoot some invisible sleep darts at them, so they should be out for hours. I started sleeping through the night anyway, so they most likely won't wake up.
As far as what to report, they really seem to care about me a lot. The man one tells me all about his dreams for me to be a great volleyball star one day. Doesn't he know that there is no money in that? I will placate him if that is how long my assignment lasts for. I really do not want to draw any attention to myself anyway. It already feels like I have too much.
The woman one, the one that calls herself monny or nommy or malmy is constantly feeding me. Sometimes she wakes me up when I am in the middle of a good sleep just to shove the pointy thing in my mouth. It tastes pretty good, so I rarely complain. They had to clip my tongue though early on because I couldn't pull the pointy thing far enough back. I guess they insist on gagging me with it.
They spend a lot of time looking at me and standing me up, letting me sit, putting me on my stomach. I play along with them, because it works better for the undercover work. If they could see me right now typing 90 words per minute, I think they would revisit their whole approach.
I have not given them much of a personality yet. I just mostly try to look cute. I smile at them sometimes, because they really do make me laugh. The man one sings the stupidest songs. I keep hoping that he will come up with new words instead of the same dumb ones over and over again. He does change the tune at least, but he is so offkey. When will it stop?
The only time I give a real straight face is when they change my diaper. I know I need to get better at my poker face, but I get so nervous that they will see under all the makeup. All he has to do is flick the switch down there and it is all over. They will suddenly be looking at something that is not too familiar at all.
Well, that is all for now. This couple is pretty normal. I should be able to lay low here for years. The planet is pretty silly. It's an election year and the two candidates are just like Grick and Popkin back in Silbia. You know what a disaster that was...
So far, all is well. They do not suspect a thing. As far as they know, I am a sweet little 90 kip old baby. It is really tough to get away. They keep a watch on me all the time. And getting out of their crib contraption is really tricky. I figured out there has to be a pin in there to keep it still. I got a good enough angle tonight to shoot some invisible sleep darts at them, so they should be out for hours. I started sleeping through the night anyway, so they most likely won't wake up.
As far as what to report, they really seem to care about me a lot. The man one tells me all about his dreams for me to be a great volleyball star one day. Doesn't he know that there is no money in that? I will placate him if that is how long my assignment lasts for. I really do not want to draw any attention to myself anyway. It already feels like I have too much.
The woman one, the one that calls herself monny or nommy or malmy is constantly feeding me. Sometimes she wakes me up when I am in the middle of a good sleep just to shove the pointy thing in my mouth. It tastes pretty good, so I rarely complain. They had to clip my tongue though early on because I couldn't pull the pointy thing far enough back. I guess they insist on gagging me with it.
They spend a lot of time looking at me and standing me up, letting me sit, putting me on my stomach. I play along with them, because it works better for the undercover work. If they could see me right now typing 90 words per minute, I think they would revisit their whole approach.
I have not given them much of a personality yet. I just mostly try to look cute. I smile at them sometimes, because they really do make me laugh. The man one sings the stupidest songs. I keep hoping that he will come up with new words instead of the same dumb ones over and over again. He does change the tune at least, but he is so offkey. When will it stop?
The only time I give a real straight face is when they change my diaper. I know I need to get better at my poker face, but I get so nervous that they will see under all the makeup. All he has to do is flick the switch down there and it is all over. They will suddenly be looking at something that is not too familiar at all.
Well, that is all for now. This couple is pretty normal. I should be able to lay low here for years. The planet is pretty silly. It's an election year and the two candidates are just like Grick and Popkin back in Silbia. You know what a disaster that was...
26 June 2008
Clearing Out the DVR
Well, all the silly shows on my DVR are finally getting watched and deleted. It started with The Office and LOST. Once A watched those with me, I was able to start systematically knocking the others off.
CSI
CSI Miami
Law and Order SVU
Numb3rs
Scrubs
I still have Earl episodes, but those may take awhile. I have old Get Smart episodes which take precedence I think. They are much funnier.
The sad thing is that it all starts again in the fall. And, they left me with all these stupid cliffhangers. Do I really care if Warrick is done with the show? Or Adam Beach? Do I really think that Charlie will never work on another FBI case? Or will Horatio survive the gunshot wounds deployed by a gun which is so lethal, it detects the body's temperature and decides to be shrapnel or not when it enters?
Scrubs did not really leave with a cliffhanger. It was more like: This is not the season finale. This was a lame filler episode that was not going to be used, but since ABC is taking over, they decided to scrub away.
The Office had a good cliffhanger. A major downer cliffhanger. But it was in true Office fashion.
And, with LOST, I don't know what to think. As usual.
CSI
CSI Miami
Law and Order SVU
Numb3rs
Scrubs
I still have Earl episodes, but those may take awhile. I have old Get Smart episodes which take precedence I think. They are much funnier.
The sad thing is that it all starts again in the fall. And, they left me with all these stupid cliffhangers. Do I really care if Warrick is done with the show? Or Adam Beach? Do I really think that Charlie will never work on another FBI case? Or will Horatio survive the gunshot wounds deployed by a gun which is so lethal, it detects the body's temperature and decides to be shrapnel or not when it enters?
Scrubs did not really leave with a cliffhanger. It was more like: This is not the season finale. This was a lame filler episode that was not going to be used, but since ABC is taking over, they decided to scrub away.
The Office had a good cliffhanger. A major downer cliffhanger. But it was in true Office fashion.
And, with LOST, I don't know what to think. As usual.
23 June 2008
In Memoriam: George Carlin
One of the greats died yesterday. George Carlin. I say great, because he has been an icon for me for most of my life. And, there have been George Carlin quotes lingering for years. How could I go on a trip to Hawaii without thinking about bringing some of "my stuff"?
The news articles talk about how he was famous for the seven dirty words, but that was not what I remember him for. He was crude and crass and offensive, but I liked how he could challenge things. He did not seem to stand for anything, but comedy. He took potshots at most everything. And, even if I did not agree with him, it was a lesson in thought. I think about his delivery and how he could just list things off. It was as if he memorized stuff, but it was really how his mind worked.
He ripped on Baby on Board signs, euphemisms, and white guys wearing their baseball caps backwards. Golf courses, golf, cemeteries, stupid sayings, the three questions at the airport, the smug greedy people of the world, people who are namby-pamby. People suddenly carrying their water around with them all the time. "Can't they take a drink of water before leaving the house?"
As someone who grew up observing the strange behaviour of people all over the place and writing it down in my notebook, I liked seeing someone who could verbalize it so well. Sometimes, the arguments aren't even rational, but I enjoy it. I agreed. While I did have to filter through the obscenities to get the great insights, I came away with "I'm not handicapped. I'm handicapable!" or "Toilet paper became running shoes. Partly cloudy became partly sunny. The dump became the landfill."
And, he is so right about this euphemistic crap out there. People constantly come up with terms to soften things up. It's the politically correct stuff that gets so old.
He definitely spiced things up with his obscenity, so I can't really recommend anyone to watch or listen to his stuff, but he did have a very fun, challenging, unique perspective that made one think.
12 June 2008
Drama
When being dramatic there are certain rules one has to follow:
1. Make sure that no one else in the vicinity will upstage you in dramatic effort.
2. Emphasize every little action.
3. Sit uncomfortably and make lots of sighs.
4. Make the nausea face when something smells bad or you think it might smell bad.
5. Roll your eyes and make sure everyone else sees it.
6. Be offended at the slightest provocation.
7. If you find yourself to be embarrassed after a dramatic outburst, apologize. But don't ever change anything. Be more embarrassing next time.
8. When being dramatic, don't laugh at yourself. Take yourself very seriously.
9. Pretentiousness is the foundation of drama city.
10. If someone else has entered the room and is being more dramatic than you are, say "I know!" after everything she says. She will figure it out.
11. Drama is all about acting the part. Make sure that everyone knows you truly believe what you are being dramatic about even though you don't.
12. Call someone. Hang up on him. Then, call right back. That is a good dramatic intro.
13. Make a scene. Always make a scene. Everyone needs to know you were there and the least mature person in the room, on the block, at the mall...
14. No matter how lame your news is or how insignificant the gossip, pull your friend aside and tell her that she won't believe what you just heard.
15. When someone else is being dramatic about a lame story or insignificant gossip, go along with them and build up their dramability. They will thank you for it later.
1. Make sure that no one else in the vicinity will upstage you in dramatic effort.
2. Emphasize every little action.
3. Sit uncomfortably and make lots of sighs.
4. Make the nausea face when something smells bad or you think it might smell bad.
5. Roll your eyes and make sure everyone else sees it.
6. Be offended at the slightest provocation.
7. If you find yourself to be embarrassed after a dramatic outburst, apologize. But don't ever change anything. Be more embarrassing next time.
8. When being dramatic, don't laugh at yourself. Take yourself very seriously.
9. Pretentiousness is the foundation of drama city.
10. If someone else has entered the room and is being more dramatic than you are, say "I know!" after everything she says. She will figure it out.
11. Drama is all about acting the part. Make sure that everyone knows you truly believe what you are being dramatic about even though you don't.
12. Call someone. Hang up on him. Then, call right back. That is a good dramatic intro.
13. Make a scene. Always make a scene. Everyone needs to know you were there and the least mature person in the room, on the block, at the mall...
14. No matter how lame your news is or how insignificant the gossip, pull your friend aside and tell her that she won't believe what you just heard.
15. When someone else is being dramatic about a lame story or insignificant gossip, go along with them and build up their dramability. They will thank you for it later.
08 June 2008
Better Than I Deserve...
For a long time, I have been searching for someone or something to help me with financial matters. This is a topic which people generally do not come in and start telling others to do. Finances are personal. But, what are the standards to live by? What are the rules? How does one save money? How does one buy things without going into debt?
I grew up doing all the standard dumb things. My first two cars barely cost me anything, but then when I bought my Toyota Tercel, I paid 18.75% interest. No air conditioning. No radio. I knew nothing. I basically ended up paying double what the car was worth in car payments. Then, when I bought my truck, I did a 6 year loan. I bought my tv, sofa, camera all on credit. I sensed that I was doing something wrong, but I had no real direction. By the time I bought my condo, I had a truck payment, school loans and credit cards.
I knew I wanted to pay off my debt and I knew that I wanted to save money, but all I could do was incur debt and then pay it off. I think that is how most of America works. There seems to be no other solution than to just slap all that money down on a credit card and then spend the next few years enjoying what you have while paying a huge price for it.
This all changed when I came across the teachings of Dave Ramsey. I know some people have read his book, The Total Money Makeover, but the book does not teach people like his radio show does. He talks to people about how much they make, how much debt they have, and what their spending habits are. He actually has 7 Baby Steps for people to follow to feel financially secure. And, most of the calls he takes revolve around those baby steps.
Who is Dave Ramsey? Why should I trust some guy on the radio? He is a Christian, which sort of threw me off at first. I suppose I wondered if he cared about people or converts. But listening to his show changed all that. His story started off with him flipping houses and he was a millionaire, but then some deals went bad and he went bankrupt. After going through that hellish experience, he came across a business idea of being able to help people avoid what he went through and eliminate debt from their lives.
Dave is really conservative when it comes to money. He says to have a written budget before each month starts. Give every dollar a name. It works. It is not hard to realize that one's money gets spent so quickly. Then, the sacrifice steps in. Things we wanted to buy had to wait.
I could go on for hours on how great his program is. I would recommend listening to his show. He has the archives from two weeks back on his website.
But back to my initial statement. I was searching for someone to help me out with this financial stuff. We had a guy come over once who told us to roll our debt over to a 401k loan. Not knowing any better, I signed on. This was a bad idea. If I had lost my job, that money would have become due all at once. Very risky.
The show teaches people to minimize risk. What if I lose my job tomorrow? Do I have anything in place to allow me to look for a new job for a couple months? Why is debt a bad idea? Why get a fixed rate loan on a house? Why avoid debt at all costs?
Dave talks a lot about Murphy's Law. And it is so true. Life is all about the unexpected. And, we live in such a Must Have Now society. So, people buy all these things anticipating that everything will be fine in the future, but it won't. We need to have safeguards in place.
The policy on credit cards is to never use them. A lot of people say that they need to build up a great credit score, but Dave's argument is that one does not need a great credit score if one does not take out any loans. The only exception would be a home loan, and for this he says that one can go to a lender who does manual underwriting, which is what they did in the olden days.
Many would say that no credit card use is too extreme, but the argument here is more about behaviour. The statistic goes that people spend 12% more using credit cards than they do with cash. It does not take a stat to know that this is true. Are some people able to handle this anyway? Sure. But, there are certainly way too many people out there who are in over their heads when it comes to credit card debt. And it comes back to behaviour. If people were disciplined with a written budget, they would be okay. People want to have fun, go out to eat, go on vacation, buy brand new cars, buy large homes. We are not patient.
Dave offers a standard from which to work from. I believe he is right most of the time. He speaks to me in a language I can understand. It is conservative, but that is okay, because it works. And, I am no financial expert. I could not tell people where to invest or how best to use their money. I just know that risky behaviour with money often requires quite a bit of work to overcome. I don't want to do that. I want my family to feel secure.
I grew up doing all the standard dumb things. My first two cars barely cost me anything, but then when I bought my Toyota Tercel, I paid 18.75% interest. No air conditioning. No radio. I knew nothing. I basically ended up paying double what the car was worth in car payments. Then, when I bought my truck, I did a 6 year loan. I bought my tv, sofa, camera all on credit. I sensed that I was doing something wrong, but I had no real direction. By the time I bought my condo, I had a truck payment, school loans and credit cards.
I knew I wanted to pay off my debt and I knew that I wanted to save money, but all I could do was incur debt and then pay it off. I think that is how most of America works. There seems to be no other solution than to just slap all that money down on a credit card and then spend the next few years enjoying what you have while paying a huge price for it.
This all changed when I came across the teachings of Dave Ramsey. I know some people have read his book, The Total Money Makeover, but the book does not teach people like his radio show does. He talks to people about how much they make, how much debt they have, and what their spending habits are. He actually has 7 Baby Steps for people to follow to feel financially secure. And, most of the calls he takes revolve around those baby steps.
Who is Dave Ramsey? Why should I trust some guy on the radio? He is a Christian, which sort of threw me off at first. I suppose I wondered if he cared about people or converts. But listening to his show changed all that. His story started off with him flipping houses and he was a millionaire, but then some deals went bad and he went bankrupt. After going through that hellish experience, he came across a business idea of being able to help people avoid what he went through and eliminate debt from their lives.
Dave is really conservative when it comes to money. He says to have a written budget before each month starts. Give every dollar a name. It works. It is not hard to realize that one's money gets spent so quickly. Then, the sacrifice steps in. Things we wanted to buy had to wait.
I could go on for hours on how great his program is. I would recommend listening to his show. He has the archives from two weeks back on his website.
But back to my initial statement. I was searching for someone to help me out with this financial stuff. We had a guy come over once who told us to roll our debt over to a 401k loan. Not knowing any better, I signed on. This was a bad idea. If I had lost my job, that money would have become due all at once. Very risky.
The show teaches people to minimize risk. What if I lose my job tomorrow? Do I have anything in place to allow me to look for a new job for a couple months? Why is debt a bad idea? Why get a fixed rate loan on a house? Why avoid debt at all costs?
Dave talks a lot about Murphy's Law. And it is so true. Life is all about the unexpected. And, we live in such a Must Have Now society. So, people buy all these things anticipating that everything will be fine in the future, but it won't. We need to have safeguards in place.
The policy on credit cards is to never use them. A lot of people say that they need to build up a great credit score, but Dave's argument is that one does not need a great credit score if one does not take out any loans. The only exception would be a home loan, and for this he says that one can go to a lender who does manual underwriting, which is what they did in the olden days.
Many would say that no credit card use is too extreme, but the argument here is more about behaviour. The statistic goes that people spend 12% more using credit cards than they do with cash. It does not take a stat to know that this is true. Are some people able to handle this anyway? Sure. But, there are certainly way too many people out there who are in over their heads when it comes to credit card debt. And it comes back to behaviour. If people were disciplined with a written budget, they would be okay. People want to have fun, go out to eat, go on vacation, buy brand new cars, buy large homes. We are not patient.
Dave offers a standard from which to work from. I believe he is right most of the time. He speaks to me in a language I can understand. It is conservative, but that is okay, because it works. And, I am no financial expert. I could not tell people where to invest or how best to use their money. I just know that risky behaviour with money often requires quite a bit of work to overcome. I don't want to do that. I want my family to feel secure.
07 June 2008
Write This Down!
I was listening to talk radio today and happened to catch this guy named Steve Godfrey. He appears to be some sort of medium. When he speaks with people on the phone, he tells them of the people he is communicating with on the other side. And, usually it is family.
I was trying to have an open mind on it. Certain things he said did sound amazing, but the one thing that bothered me was "Write this down!" If I was talking to him, I would say: "Screw you! You write it down!"
What is he telling them to write down? He starts things off by telling the people he sees someone who has died.
Steve: "Someone has had lymphoma. Anyone had cancer in your family?"
Caller: "Uh yes. That was my brother."
Steve: "I am sensing that he had a real hard battle. What kind of cancer was it?"
Caller: "Bone cancer."
Steve: "Yes, it was a difficult battle. But he wants to let you know that things are much better now. I am also seeing Santa Claus. Someone who has a big white beard. He either dressed up as Santa a lot or just had a beard like Santa.
Caller: "That was my father-in-law."
Steve: "I am also sensing October 3rd or 4th. Does that ring a bell?"
Caller: "No."
Steve: "Well, write that down! That could be important later on."
Caller: "It is my half birthday. I was born April 2nd."
Steve: "I don't know about that."
This may have been a compilation of a couple calls, but it cracks me up. The dates are never significant to the people. Of course people have family who have died of cancer though. And, what about the Santa Claus? He totally covered his butt when he said that the person could dress up as Santa. Doesn't every family have a designated Santa? I guess mine doesn't...
I realize that the guy brings a positive message to people and people like to be comforted after someone close has died. I think it is all about the confidence the guy portrays. And, the fact that he has the gall to tell them to write down a date or other such information.
"Oh yeah! That was the date I got my oil changed last year... Wow."
I was trying to have an open mind on it. Certain things he said did sound amazing, but the one thing that bothered me was "Write this down!" If I was talking to him, I would say: "Screw you! You write it down!"
What is he telling them to write down? He starts things off by telling the people he sees someone who has died.
Steve: "Someone has had lymphoma. Anyone had cancer in your family?"
Caller: "Uh yes. That was my brother."
Steve: "I am sensing that he had a real hard battle. What kind of cancer was it?"
Caller: "Bone cancer."
Steve: "Yes, it was a difficult battle. But he wants to let you know that things are much better now. I am also seeing Santa Claus. Someone who has a big white beard. He either dressed up as Santa a lot or just had a beard like Santa.
Caller: "That was my father-in-law."
Steve: "I am also sensing October 3rd or 4th. Does that ring a bell?"
Caller: "No."
Steve: "Well, write that down! That could be important later on."
Caller: "It is my half birthday. I was born April 2nd."
Steve: "I don't know about that."
This may have been a compilation of a couple calls, but it cracks me up. The dates are never significant to the people. Of course people have family who have died of cancer though. And, what about the Santa Claus? He totally covered his butt when he said that the person could dress up as Santa. Doesn't every family have a designated Santa? I guess mine doesn't...
I realize that the guy brings a positive message to people and people like to be comforted after someone close has died. I think it is all about the confidence the guy portrays. And, the fact that he has the gall to tell them to write down a date or other such information.
"Oh yeah! That was the date I got my oil changed last year... Wow."
03 June 2008
Chapter 9
Hanken was tired and lethargic after his long journey to the coast. He had rescued maidens, maids and madmen. He figured sleeping would be his reward for his recent good behaviour. So, he napped and napped. When he was done napping he napped some more.
After all this napping, he was rejuvenated. It was time to start working on diffusing the bomb he had in his suitcase. He pulled out his tweezers and his rubber gloves. Hanken started working away and after a few vials of sweat beads trickled off his head, he was once again in the clear.
Now, to fill out the report. He always felt it was good business to document his endeavours. Lest anyone think he was a fool and a teller of tall tales, he would at least know that he had written it down in his ledger. He wrote and he wrote making sure to remember the angle he left the gangster in the trashcan at the airport.
He found that leaving details out was always a mistake. The kinds of villains he was working with had curious tattoos and spoke in funny dialects. These things would be important later on when deciphering who this was. After putting the finishing touches on the woman with the full lips and boisterous laugh, he put down his ledger and began to contemplate his next move.
Where would the next attack come from? Where are the armies amassing? And, where can he get a clean shirt in this pile of clothes scattered all over the floor?
After all this napping, he was rejuvenated. It was time to start working on diffusing the bomb he had in his suitcase. He pulled out his tweezers and his rubber gloves. Hanken started working away and after a few vials of sweat beads trickled off his head, he was once again in the clear.
Now, to fill out the report. He always felt it was good business to document his endeavours. Lest anyone think he was a fool and a teller of tall tales, he would at least know that he had written it down in his ledger. He wrote and he wrote making sure to remember the angle he left the gangster in the trashcan at the airport.
He found that leaving details out was always a mistake. The kinds of villains he was working with had curious tattoos and spoke in funny dialects. These things would be important later on when deciphering who this was. After putting the finishing touches on the woman with the full lips and boisterous laugh, he put down his ledger and began to contemplate his next move.
Where would the next attack come from? Where are the armies amassing? And, where can he get a clean shirt in this pile of clothes scattered all over the floor?
27 May 2008
Good Things About Goonies
My brother-in-law, E, brought up a point yesterday on why the Fratellis were necessary in The Goonies. The confession scene with Chunk. That is a great movie scene. They have him tied up and they want him to tell them everything, so then he starts to tell them... everything. He tells them all about himself and essentially why he is Chunk. And what makes it good too is that they let him.
Sloth is another good character. I love the things I saw John Matuszak in. He was a football player for the Oakland Raiders. As Sloth, he was memorable.
The water slides leading to the ship were kind of cool, but then again why? That was like the skate ramp in Hook. I feel like they are pandering to the current audience of kids.
I did like that the goonies were under the fountain at one point. That is actually a pretty decent scene. They first think they are rich, but then realize it is the fountain and all the coins are people's wishes.
And the red-headed chick was pretty cute too, so I can't fault them that either.
I really need to see it again. Perhaps I can watch it with all the people who love it and they will influence me to love it also... That's optimism.
Sloth is another good character. I love the things I saw John Matuszak in. He was a football player for the Oakland Raiders. As Sloth, he was memorable.
The water slides leading to the ship were kind of cool, but then again why? That was like the skate ramp in Hook. I feel like they are pandering to the current audience of kids.
I did like that the goonies were under the fountain at one point. That is actually a pretty decent scene. They first think they are rich, but then realize it is the fountain and all the coins are people's wishes.
And the red-headed chick was pretty cute too, so I can't fault them that either.
I really need to see it again. Perhaps I can watch it with all the people who love it and they will influence me to love it also... That's optimism.
24 May 2008
Senorito Budlito
Senorito Budlito
My Little Bud Leeeee Toe!
I have been singing this all day to my son. I like the idea of it being Spanish, but then not quite. Budly, with the short u sound, is the English equivalent and that is where all this started. I also like the redundancy of saying "Little Budlito" since the Spanish is essentially already Little Budly. So now, it is like Littler Budly.
My Little Bud Leeeee Toe!
I have been singing this all day to my son. I like the idea of it being Spanish, but then not quite. Budly, with the short u sound, is the English equivalent and that is where all this started. I also like the redundancy of saying "Little Budlito" since the Spanish is essentially already Little Budly. So now, it is like Littler Budly.
18 May 2008
What Did I Miss?
One of my least favourite movies is The Goonies. However, I don't want to dislike it. I really, really want to like it. I think, in theory, it is one of the best ideas for a movie. It is just executed so poorly. Everytime it is on, I watch it, hoping that it changed a little since I saw it last. It must have had some great marketing in its early days. Or perhaps it is the sets and the ideas behind the scenes, but the actual scenes are torture.
I often try to come up with replacement ideas to make something better, like take out the last half hour of Close Encounters of the Third Kind or the last hour and a half of Return of the King. Or, make Back to the Future 2's future more creative and less retro-eighties.
With Goonies, they need to eliminate the Fratellis. I like Joe Pantoliano, but not even he makes those scenes work. And the Mom is just lame. Of course, Sloth (John Matuszak) is great and that is a role which they could have kept. He could have come from anywhere. I suppose people think that they need to have villains to run from, but I like the idea of the kids doing the adventure and just battling the elements themselves. The Fratellis are a distraction from the imagination of what was going on. We don't feel threatened by them. They are not going to kill the kids.
Let us go with the battle the elements concept. They find the treasure map and they start their journey. As they are going, they get deeper and deeper into it. Suddenly, there is that fear all kids feel of doing something adventurous, but really dangerous. Because they were being chased by the Fratellis, we had no time for that self-aware feeling. They come to the organ that they have to play the right keys. Then, they know they are on the right track. By the time they get to the pirate ship, they are amazed, but even then, there would still be pitfalls. To me, that would be more real and play more with our imaginations.
There is also the idea that Mikey (Sean Astin) shows us when he is talking to One Eyed Willie in the pirate ship. There was finally a quiet moment after so much yelling and screaming. But it didn't fit. Suddenly, there was this sentimentality scene that we got no wind of before. These rude, disrespectful kids are solemn and caring? Where does that come from? However, if they had worked that into the script, instead of giving the Fratellis so much screen time, we would have a movie with characters we care about.
Does anyone not come away from this movie thinking: It is a bunch of kids yelling all the time? I want to like those kids, but they all bother me. I know they are goony...
I look at the cast and I think: Wow! Corey Feldman is in this. It has to be good. Unfortunately, they didn't center the movie on him and that was their first mistake. Short Round is in it. I think if Keanu Reeves had been in it, there may have been some hope... Sean Astin is okay, but he bothers me in this. He does not carry the movie and he needs to. We need to like him more and we don't.
I look at the beginning and they didn't draw me in to the Goonie world. They had the overly complicated contraption which was creative. Mouth (Corey Feldman) was doing his bit with the housekeeper. Short Round was doing his gadgetry and Chunk was fat and awkward. The stereotypes were all present and not helping it.
It is one of those movies where I feel like I missed something. I watch it from beginning to end and it has that feeling of chopped-up movie with all the wrong scenes left in. I know it is a sentimental favourite of many, many people in my generation...
11 May 2008
Mama Loved the Roses
As I reflect on Mother's Day, I am happy that my wife is now a Mother. She has wanted this for a long time. She has watched her family and friends all go through motherhood and she has had to patiently sit and watch waiting for her opportunity. And it is here. And we are so happy.
Last weekend, my Mom came to visit along with my Dad, sister and her family. I am really perplexed by the amount of hard work my Mother puts in to everything. I suppose it was a vacation, because she got to be with her first grandson. But, she was always working. Even with the kids, she works. Saturday night, she was just chopping fruit and vegetables. Long into the night...
I look at it and I want to be like my Mom, but I am not right now. I am not even close. I am way too lazy. I do get joy out of work, but I have a long way to go.
My Mother-In-Law is really enjoying her status as a Grandmother. So much so that I think she is the one we all call to babysit. Designated. I appreciate this, but I want her to know that we will not take it for granted. We will pay her as best we know how, by letting her spend more time with our son.
Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to the great Mothers out there who allow their great ethical qualities to be brought forth.
Last weekend, my Mom came to visit along with my Dad, sister and her family. I am really perplexed by the amount of hard work my Mother puts in to everything. I suppose it was a vacation, because she got to be with her first grandson. But, she was always working. Even with the kids, she works. Saturday night, she was just chopping fruit and vegetables. Long into the night...
I look at it and I want to be like my Mom, but I am not right now. I am not even close. I am way too lazy. I do get joy out of work, but I have a long way to go.
My Mother-In-Law is really enjoying her status as a Grandmother. So much so that I think she is the one we all call to babysit. Designated. I appreciate this, but I want her to know that we will not take it for granted. We will pay her as best we know how, by letting her spend more time with our son.
Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to the great Mothers out there who allow their great ethical qualities to be brought forth.
05 May 2008
Roommate Update: Sleeping Location
I am confused. We have a good sized house. We went out of our way to prepare the bedroom. We repainted it, put beadboard in and moulding. We bought a new bed and a couple of shelf things. So why is our roommate, D, not sleeping in his own room?
For some reason, he spends most of his time sleeping in our room.
I remember at Belmont having roommates which were really fun to talk to. I used to sit on the floor in C and J's room and talk with them in their room for much of the night. As late as it went, I never spent the night in there.
But D has made up a little spot in our room along the wall. And, it does not look like he is budging. We are very concerned about his comfort. Roommates deserve every amenity that we can afford. But, this is a little strange.
I should probably say something to him, but in the words of George McFly, "I am not very good at... confrontations."
He may just need to get more comfortable in our surroundings. I used to sleep on the couch all the time. I know my roommates could not understand that one...
For some reason, he spends most of his time sleeping in our room.
I remember at Belmont having roommates which were really fun to talk to. I used to sit on the floor in C and J's room and talk with them in their room for much of the night. As late as it went, I never spent the night in there.
But D has made up a little spot in our room along the wall. And, it does not look like he is budging. We are very concerned about his comfort. Roommates deserve every amenity that we can afford. But, this is a little strange.
I should probably say something to him, but in the words of George McFly, "I am not very good at... confrontations."
He may just need to get more comfortable in our surroundings. I used to sleep on the couch all the time. I know my roommates could not understand that one...
30 April 2008
Ready. Aim. Fire!
I went to the doctor today and while there, I was given the responsibility of peeing in the cup. She said to just leave it on the back of the toilet after I am done.
For some guys, I am sure this is pretty easy. But I have a tremor...
Now, the ideal is to have just enough pee so that I don't have to shift the cup and risk getting pee all over my hand. But, that is pretty tough. I think the bladder has some sort of gauge inside which will not allow a build up less than the cup size. And that is just one thing to worry about...
I don't like that they say to leave it on the back of the toilet. What if some other guy has to do the test at the same time? I would rather that they make me walk out there with cup in hand full of apple juice and give it directly to the nurse. That is not awkward at all. I think she should have to get the black marker out and handle the cup without a protective glove on. I did not get a glove when I went in there.
And why can't that cup be bigger? Why not make it the size of the toilet? Wouldn't it be better if they gave the patient a 5 gallon bucket? Then, it would be easier for women too. The nurses could take it out, sloshing it around. It has a handle and when they are done, they can flip it over and use it as a seat.
Although, I am sure my wife is saying: "Nope! 5 Gallon buckets are still not wide enough for you. Let's use the whole restroom as the cup."
From New to Veteran
Our new roommate is now considered the roommate. He has graduated to that status. Besides, people will stop asking: Oh, when did he move in?
Tonight, we had a good time. He likes to workout. That is one thing I liked about some of my old roommates. They would inspire me to go to the gym. It was all about getting huge so you could get chicks. And, it worked so well... He is a pretty strong guy. He does this real high intensity stomach exercises where he shifts his head back and forth with as little support from his arms as possible. I can't do stuff like that. I am lucky if I get in a good set of push-ups.
D is helping me to stop watching tv. If I am watching dumb shows like CSI and CSI:Miami by myself, I only have me to answer to, but I do not want him knowing that I am into that stuff. Embarrassing. We watch sports together though. He seems okay with that. I am glad he does not insist on watching every second of SportsCenter. My old roommates had to watch that over and over in the same day. And, it was like Get a newspaper!
This weekend he has some family coming into town. He has a big event going on with his church on Sunday. I don't want to pry in on what his beliefs are, but it would be nice if someone invites us to the church. I always liked to support my roommates in what they had going on.
Tonight, we had a good time. He likes to workout. That is one thing I liked about some of my old roommates. They would inspire me to go to the gym. It was all about getting huge so you could get chicks. And, it worked so well... He is a pretty strong guy. He does this real high intensity stomach exercises where he shifts his head back and forth with as little support from his arms as possible. I can't do stuff like that. I am lucky if I get in a good set of push-ups.
D is helping me to stop watching tv. If I am watching dumb shows like CSI and CSI:Miami by myself, I only have me to answer to, but I do not want him knowing that I am into that stuff. Embarrassing. We watch sports together though. He seems okay with that. I am glad he does not insist on watching every second of SportsCenter. My old roommates had to watch that over and over in the same day. And, it was like Get a newspaper!
This weekend he has some family coming into town. He has a big event going on with his church on Sunday. I don't want to pry in on what his beliefs are, but it would be nice if someone invites us to the church. I always liked to support my roommates in what they had going on.
26 April 2008
New Roommate Update
The new roommate, D, is getting settled. We are starting to notice patterns in his behaviour. He usually wears pajamas which I have never seen in other roommates. They are funny though. They are like jumpsuits. He seems to be some sort of Elvis impersonator walking around the house doing karate chops and making that "Uh uh Huh" sound.
He starts his day off by using the restroom. He kind of uses the restroom a lot. He must drink lots of water and eat plenty of fiber. Then, he changes into some really nice cottony clothes. He always looks very comfortable. My brother-in-law, E, pointed out that D has Emo hair. He has not acted terribly Emo. He does not hang out in his room all day being morose. He has no black clothes. I guess he does not smile that much, but he seems normal. Am I being stereotypical and intolerant? I don't want anything weird in my house... well, weirder than me.
He has some very refined eating habits. He generally eats the same thing my wife eats. I am not sure what it is about her choices of food that make him so gung-ho. Of course, she and I eat most of the same food. But D just loves those Creamies. And eggs. And, of course green beans. Whole cans!
I am thinking he might be a magician of some sort. He has these real colorful straight jackets that we help him put on. Then, we turn our eyes and his hands have been free. I don't know how he does it. He is also very masterful-looking with his hands. We will be talking with him and he just moves his hands around with real great emphasis. I thought he was aspiring to be an actor like Captain Kirk or Hamlet or something.
It is hard to know what he is up to exactly. He is still pretty young. As a roommate, I try to make it a rule not to get in the way of people's dreams and aspirations. So, if he wants to be some Captain Kirk style Elvis magician, by all means. We encourage that kind of free-spirited behaviour in our home. Well, as long as they pay their rent of course.
23 April 2008
A Conversation
Father: Son, we need to talk.
Son: Yes, Dad.
Father: I have a request. No pressure.
Son: Of course, Dad. What's up?
Father: I really like what you are doing. I am very pleased with your attitude.
Son: Dad, spit it out!
Father: Well, it is just that you don't seem to be sleeping very much.
Son: Yeah, I know. I think it is a phase I am going through.
Father: Mom and I are very concerned.
Son: About me?
Father: Well... no. Not exactly. We are more concerned about ourselves.
Son: I can understand that.
Father: It is just that if you don't sleep, we don't sleep.
Son: I think I am getting plenty of sleep.
Father: Oh, absolutely. I have no doubt of that. It is just the timing of it.
Son: I don't know what to say, Dad. I sleep when I am tired. You do the same.
Father: I know. I know.
Son: Dad, this sounds like a problem you and Mom need to work out. I will do what I can, but I think there is not much I can do. Yawn...
Son: Yes, Dad.
Father: I have a request. No pressure.
Son: Of course, Dad. What's up?
Father: I really like what you are doing. I am very pleased with your attitude.
Son: Dad, spit it out!
Father: Well, it is just that you don't seem to be sleeping very much.
Son: Yeah, I know. I think it is a phase I am going through.
Father: Mom and I are very concerned.
Son: About me?
Father: Well... no. Not exactly. We are more concerned about ourselves.
Son: I can understand that.
Father: It is just that if you don't sleep, we don't sleep.
Son: I think I am getting plenty of sleep.
Father: Oh, absolutely. I have no doubt of that. It is just the timing of it.
Son: I don't know what to say, Dad. I sleep when I am tired. You do the same.
Father: I know. I know.
Son: Dad, this sounds like a problem you and Mom need to work out. I will do what I can, but I think there is not much I can do. Yawn...
18 April 2008
Roommate Expectations (so cheap)
D has taken over our lives. He is a really strange roommate. He only sleeps in three-hour increments. He wakes up, goes to the bathroom, then on to the kitchen to get a glass of milk. I think my Uncle G is a big milk fan too. I will have to ask him if he has to get up at weird hours. It would not be so bad if D quietly did these things, but he wakes us up in the process.
He also has us driving him around everywhere. We went to visit his twin cousins, H and B, twice yesterday. And, his Aunt M flew in from Germany so we had to be there for that. He is very family-oriented, so that is good. I am going to have to have a talk with his parents though, because some of this behaviour is just downright childish.
When it comes to roommates, my expectations are this:
1. Have your own car (or at least know how to drive)
2. Sleep like normal people sleep
3. Help out around the house from time to time
4. Bathe yourself
5. Be uglier and less charming than me.
That is not such a hard list, is it?
He also has us driving him around everywhere. We went to visit his twin cousins, H and B, twice yesterday. And, his Aunt M flew in from Germany so we had to be there for that. He is very family-oriented, so that is good. I am going to have to have a talk with his parents though, because some of this behaviour is just downright childish.
When it comes to roommates, my expectations are this:
1. Have your own car (or at least know how to drive)
2. Sleep like normal people sleep
3. Help out around the house from time to time
4. Bathe yourself
5. Be uglier and less charming than me.
That is not such a hard list, is it?
14 April 2008
This Is the Last Straw!
The new roommate, D, must be from California or something. He is making claims that the sun is not good enough here in Utah, so he has ordered his own tanning bed to be in our house. So, he spends all day in there and only comes out to use the restroom and eat.
He has not been very social either since the tanning bed got here. I guess he really has to gear up and be ready for when summer hits. I understand that need. There is nothing more embarrassing than being at the pool and having this white body or a real bad farmer tan. I will bet the girls are just going to come running to see his glistening golden brown muscles.
He has not been very social either since the tanning bed got here. I guess he really has to gear up and be ready for when summer hits. I understand that need. There is nothing more embarrassing than being at the pool and having this white body or a real bad farmer tan. I will bet the girls are just going to come running to see his glistening golden brown muscles.
The Never-Ending Metaphor
The new roommate has moved in and he brought his Grandma with him. She is helping him with all the things he cannot do himself. And, she is helping fill in the void where his parents fall short.
He certainly has a lot of charm. Everyone that sees him is a big fan. I just don't understand how someone can do so little and be so popular. I have had roommates like this before. The fact that they existed was all girls needed in order to have crushes on them. There goes my jealousy again.
He keeps sleeping all the time. We want him to eat more, but he dozes off. We have been sitting around with him when he fell asleep right in the middle of lunch.
He took a bath today... finally! Who is this guy going all that time without bathing? It does not seem to matter though. I thought he would at least go into the shower and do it, but no! He got up on the counter and displayed his nakedness to everyone in the house.
I really do like him though. We talk all the time. Actually, I do most of the talking. He is a great listener. He is not judgmental at all. Sometimes you get roommates who are so full of themselves. Not him. His name is D and I recommend meeting him. He will change your life as he has mine.
He certainly has a lot of charm. Everyone that sees him is a big fan. I just don't understand how someone can do so little and be so popular. I have had roommates like this before. The fact that they existed was all girls needed in order to have crushes on them. There goes my jealousy again.
He keeps sleeping all the time. We want him to eat more, but he dozes off. We have been sitting around with him when he fell asleep right in the middle of lunch.
He took a bath today... finally! Who is this guy going all that time without bathing? It does not seem to matter though. I thought he would at least go into the shower and do it, but no! He got up on the counter and displayed his nakedness to everyone in the house.
I really do like him though. We talk all the time. Actually, I do most of the talking. He is a great listener. He is not judgmental at all. Sometimes you get roommates who are so full of themselves. Not him. His name is D and I recommend meeting him. He will change your life as he has mine.
Being Apparent
Everyone says that being apparent is tough work. I just figure it is all about showing up.
12 April 2008
One That Rhymes - Late Night Poetry
He came one Monday Night
All white and purple and gooey
He had so much hair
He sort of looked like Chewie.
We looked outside to see the snow
And then back again inside
Some strange wind blew out there
Creating this wonderful child
Not expecting him so soon
The doctor gave us voice.
With Caesar as our guide
We marvelled at our choice.
We find in him new hope and life
As we age inside our skin.
But exercise is sure
As we try to keep up with him.
All white and purple and gooey
He had so much hair
He sort of looked like Chewie.
We looked outside to see the snow
And then back again inside
Some strange wind blew out there
Creating this wonderful child
Not expecting him so soon
The doctor gave us voice.
With Caesar as our guide
We marvelled at our choice.
We find in him new hope and life
As we age inside our skin.
But exercise is sure
As we try to keep up with him.
11 April 2008
Fatherhood
I met my son today
It took a few years.
I had to meet my wife first
And get a house and a dog.
We found him a crib
And a car seat.
I bought him a gift today also
I figured he needed a dog too
Now I just watch him grow
He does not smile yet.
He does not see me either.
But I like him. He's asleep.
It took a few years.
I had to meet my wife first
And get a house and a dog.
We found him a crib
And a car seat.
I bought him a gift today also
I figured he needed a dog too
Now I just watch him grow
He does not smile yet.
He does not see me either.
But I like him. He's asleep.
08 April 2008
The New Roommate Is In Town
The new roommate is in town. We have been visiting with him and helping him to get used to the new surroundings. I tried to explain to him the reasoning behind living in Utah. He seems okay with it as long as he gets 12 square meals a day.
It was great to meet him yesterday. He is a little heavier than in the pictures I saw of him. He does not talk too much. He is kind of stocky too. I am a little jealous of him, because he has a lot more hair than I do. I think my wife may pay more attention to him too.
I have had quite a few roommates over the years. Some really good ones too. I am hoping that he does not mind me watching tv all night long. I hope he does not knock on my door complaining about loud music. It would also be nice if he cleans up after himself too. So many roommates in the past who just think that I am a parent who is supposed to clean up after them...
It was great to meet him yesterday. He is a little heavier than in the pictures I saw of him. He does not talk too much. He is kind of stocky too. I am a little jealous of him, because he has a lot more hair than I do. I think my wife may pay more attention to him too.
I have had quite a few roommates over the years. Some really good ones too. I am hoping that he does not mind me watching tv all night long. I hope he does not knock on my door complaining about loud music. It would also be nice if he cleans up after himself too. So many roommates in the past who just think that I am a parent who is supposed to clean up after them...
02 April 2008
The Sick Chronicles
Over the past couple weeks, I have been sick and I wanted to describe it and get the full experience as one who is sick. Since being sick is physical and mental, what better way to convey the inner feeling than to write while my mind is ... sick?
My Side of the Mirror
I have been fortunate. I hardly ever get sick. And if I do, it is a small incident. It never lasts more than two days. But this all changed last week when I got really sick. I have it all. Couqhing, Sneezing, runny nose, sore throat, fever, hot sweats, cold sweats, inability to sleep, etc.
I am drinking lots of water. And, I am eating lots of oranges. My appetite is down, but not too down. I am just sick. And one has to be patient with sick. Much can be said for sick. It is the time of life when one has all the time in the world, but no motivation, nor much ability. Finally, I can get caught up on all those tv shows or movies I have been wanting to watch.
But there is something lost when sickness enters the picture. I can't watch things and enjoy them, because the whole notion of inspiration is to watch something and be motivated to go accomplish more.
Sick is a justification to do nothing, but rest. So, why all the guilt? Because I can still do most everything. I can wash the dishes and do the laundry. I can clean my room, but I am supposed to be resting. Sickness is kind of about being patient. One's body is doing all it can to fight off the invasion that has occurred. So, I try to arm it with all I can. Water and juice and fruit. I probably should add some soup in there too.
What is the aspect of sick that people should glean from it? Is being sick bad? Well, it is frustrating. I guess there is being sick, the sick attitude and then the person who, despite being sick, rises above it. For someone who does not get sick very often, I easily fall into the sick attitude. Leave me alone. Let me recover. It's almost done. I just need to spend every day walking around the house in my pajamas. Is all of this really necessary?
Perhaps it is. Maybe that helps us fall into the patience aspect of being sick. You're sick! Accept it! Mope around the house in my pajamas.
Or, is the sickness more a state of mind that one needs to overcome by mere will? Since this is the harder of the two, perhaps it is best to follow this train of thought for awhile. I have heard of people who are extremely sick but one would never know by how they behave.
Of course we all know the chronic types who are always sick and make sure that everyone knows they are. Are these people justified? Possibly. They have been dealt a bad hand. Others should know what they have to go through. Whether they are as sick as they think, there is no doubt that they are somewhat sick. We are not to judge. We are only to help and serve, try to empathize.
My side of the mirror in our bathroom is disgusting. I guess I brush my teeth in a very unique way that causes the toothpaste to splatter all over the place. I let it get this way and leave it there for far too long. This is sick. Sick behaviour. How hard is it to walk in the other room, grab a paper towel and the Windex and quickly clean it off? Not hard.
Sick Mode
With these new developments, there is light at the end of the tunnel. So, I guess I can stop being in sick mode, despite the fact that I don't really feel much better.
What is sick mode? It is the concept or the idea of being sick. The feel sorry for yourself mode. The lay around in your pajamas all day and not take a shower for three mode. It is the patience mode. It is the watch the lamest things you can find on tv mode. It is kind of like giving up on ever getting better. Not that one really believes that, but it is just part of the mode. It is almost like a role one is playing.
So why not just never enter sick mode? Despite how bad one feels, one should always take it that it will soon be over, right? Isn't the one who is in sick mode just making everything worse for oneself including those around them? I am arguing for the necessity of sick mode.
sick....
I want to write about this sick experience while I am sick, because then I can truly give it the credit it deserves, or wants.
Being sick is such a deplorable state. It is the antithesis of everything one wants to achieve and do. It takes the body and turns it upside down convincing one that everything good is bad and everything bad is worse.
My Side of the Mirror
I have been fortunate. I hardly ever get sick. And if I do, it is a small incident. It never lasts more than two days. But this all changed last week when I got really sick. I have it all. Couqhing, Sneezing, runny nose, sore throat, fever, hot sweats, cold sweats, inability to sleep, etc.
I am drinking lots of water. And, I am eating lots of oranges. My appetite is down, but not too down. I am just sick. And one has to be patient with sick. Much can be said for sick. It is the time of life when one has all the time in the world, but no motivation, nor much ability. Finally, I can get caught up on all those tv shows or movies I have been wanting to watch.
But there is something lost when sickness enters the picture. I can't watch things and enjoy them, because the whole notion of inspiration is to watch something and be motivated to go accomplish more.
Sick is a justification to do nothing, but rest. So, why all the guilt? Because I can still do most everything. I can wash the dishes and do the laundry. I can clean my room, but I am supposed to be resting. Sickness is kind of about being patient. One's body is doing all it can to fight off the invasion that has occurred. So, I try to arm it with all I can. Water and juice and fruit. I probably should add some soup in there too.
What is the aspect of sick that people should glean from it? Is being sick bad? Well, it is frustrating. I guess there is being sick, the sick attitude and then the person who, despite being sick, rises above it. For someone who does not get sick very often, I easily fall into the sick attitude. Leave me alone. Let me recover. It's almost done. I just need to spend every day walking around the house in my pajamas. Is all of this really necessary?
Perhaps it is. Maybe that helps us fall into the patience aspect of being sick. You're sick! Accept it! Mope around the house in my pajamas.
Or, is the sickness more a state of mind that one needs to overcome by mere will? Since this is the harder of the two, perhaps it is best to follow this train of thought for awhile. I have heard of people who are extremely sick but one would never know by how they behave.
Of course we all know the chronic types who are always sick and make sure that everyone knows they are. Are these people justified? Possibly. They have been dealt a bad hand. Others should know what they have to go through. Whether they are as sick as they think, there is no doubt that they are somewhat sick. We are not to judge. We are only to help and serve, try to empathize.
My side of the mirror in our bathroom is disgusting. I guess I brush my teeth in a very unique way that causes the toothpaste to splatter all over the place. I let it get this way and leave it there for far too long. This is sick. Sick behaviour. How hard is it to walk in the other room, grab a paper towel and the Windex and quickly clean it off? Not hard.
Sick Mode
With these new developments, there is light at the end of the tunnel. So, I guess I can stop being in sick mode, despite the fact that I don't really feel much better.
What is sick mode? It is the concept or the idea of being sick. The feel sorry for yourself mode. The lay around in your pajamas all day and not take a shower for three mode. It is the patience mode. It is the watch the lamest things you can find on tv mode. It is kind of like giving up on ever getting better. Not that one really believes that, but it is just part of the mode. It is almost like a role one is playing.
So why not just never enter sick mode? Despite how bad one feels, one should always take it that it will soon be over, right? Isn't the one who is in sick mode just making everything worse for oneself including those around them? I am arguing for the necessity of sick mode.
sick....
I want to write about this sick experience while I am sick, because then I can truly give it the credit it deserves, or wants.
Being sick is such a deplorable state. It is the antithesis of everything one wants to achieve and do. It takes the body and turns it upside down convincing one that everything good is bad and everything bad is worse.
Exacerbation
I went to the doctor the other day because of this stupid sickness. As a result, I am not really sure what is going on. I had a notebook with me. I wrote down as much as I could. I tried to remember what happened. I do remember it was an older female physician and I talked a lot about my symptoms.
The one word I do remember was Exacerbation. I think I have officially been diagnosed with Exacerbation. I think she used that word about 10 times. That must be it.
My sore throat was exacerbated by my allergies. Or, my upper respiratory problem was exacerbated by my allergies. Or, my allergies were exacerbated by my allergies. How many is that? Three? Okay, seven more exacerbations.
Uncomfortable yet? It's not a very comforting word.
The one word I do remember was Exacerbation. I think I have officially been diagnosed with Exacerbation. I think she used that word about 10 times. That must be it.
My sore throat was exacerbated by my allergies. Or, my upper respiratory problem was exacerbated by my allergies. Or, my allergies were exacerbated by my allergies. How many is that? Three? Okay, seven more exacerbations.
Uncomfortable yet? It's not a very comforting word.
29 March 2008
Five Year Goal
Since I am sick in bed right now, I guess it is time to do my 5 year goals.
My first one is that I want to be a successful business owner. So, let's map this out. I need to get a product. My product will be home mazes. People often have unfinished basements and they plan to get around to it eventually. This will be the neverending entertainment of having a spooky maze in their basement. Of course, they do not have to be spooky or creepy. It could be It's a Small World themed. Or, it could have a Gilligan's Island theme throughout. Or, it could be a Barry Manilow theme. None of these ideas are creepy...
We have our product. Now, materials. Are we going to just use cardboard everywhere? There should be some firm materials. We don't want the customer to cheat and knock over the walls to escape. And, we will probably want to have the spots where they can only crawl on their stomachs. So, wood framing and nails. Strobe lights. We will need some good software to draw this all out on first.
Then, there is the liability aspect. Even though we will want to have spiked walls and darts shooting out, there should not be anything which will really hurt or maim. Maybe just a brief sting. Like getting a shot.
We would also want to make it changeable. Once you learn a maze, it is not very fun to do the same maze again, so we would have to put casters on them and lock them into various places. That will be a good selling point though. We could have a monthly maze-changing service, where our team goes out and configures it to a whole new maze. For the low price of only $20.99 a month.
In five years, I need to be making a profit. With that profit we need to be able to pay our bills and go to the movies from time to time. So does that mean we make no profit for the first 4 years? I guess I will need to ease into this. Since not everyone will be clamoring for a new BaMazeMent right away, it will have to be a part time thing after my regular job. The goal in 5 years will be to quit my day job and start BaMazeMent Inc. full time. It may not happen just like that, but it's written down.
This five year goal stuff is hard work. But I feel good knowing that everyone who reads my blog now knows my ultimate dream, confusing people in their own homes.
25 March 2008
The Topper
Yep! You know him (or her). The one who always has a better story. No matter how good the story is. No matter how fantastic. No matter how much of a lie the original is, he has a better one. His is better, more fantastic, a bigger lie.
The nature of the topper is the toughest thing to deal with, because in a way, by you telling a story at all, you are stepping on their toes. They seem to feel that they are the only ones entitled to be telling the amazing story. How dare you even think that your story or happening or experience could even compete with their incredible adventure...
How does one argue with a topper? Do you come out directly and tell them that their story sucks? Do you tell them like you would a child that they are being rude in trying to top someone else's story? Do we just chalk it up to the topper's insecurity as the cause?
I honestly think that most toppers are completely clueless. They think that they are supposed to come up with a topper. If someone shares a story, they go into their topper library in their head and come up with the best possible match for the initial story and then share it thinking that if they do not, then they are not showing proper attention to the original story. I think they feel like they are validating the original with their own.
But, a message to the topper in all of you. Don't! Just hear the story out and ask about the story. Laugh at the story. We won't think you are boring if you do not give us a whole new, different story. Make us feel good about our story. And then, if the conversation dies off and there is a need for yours, then go ahead.
But please! Don't make us think that if we tell a story then we are just going to be inundated with yours! And whatever you do, don't say: "Oh! I have a better one!" Or "Get this! You won't believe this!"
Give us lame storytellers a chance!
By the way, we all do it. Despite our best intentions, we find ourselves in situations with certain people where we just have to outdo them. Thank you to the great listeners of the world. I will try to be better.
The nature of the topper is the toughest thing to deal with, because in a way, by you telling a story at all, you are stepping on their toes. They seem to feel that they are the only ones entitled to be telling the amazing story. How dare you even think that your story or happening or experience could even compete with their incredible adventure...
How does one argue with a topper? Do you come out directly and tell them that their story sucks? Do you tell them like you would a child that they are being rude in trying to top someone else's story? Do we just chalk it up to the topper's insecurity as the cause?
I honestly think that most toppers are completely clueless. They think that they are supposed to come up with a topper. If someone shares a story, they go into their topper library in their head and come up with the best possible match for the initial story and then share it thinking that if they do not, then they are not showing proper attention to the original story. I think they feel like they are validating the original with their own.
But, a message to the topper in all of you. Don't! Just hear the story out and ask about the story. Laugh at the story. We won't think you are boring if you do not give us a whole new, different story. Make us feel good about our story. And then, if the conversation dies off and there is a need for yours, then go ahead.
But please! Don't make us think that if we tell a story then we are just going to be inundated with yours! And whatever you do, don't say: "Oh! I have a better one!" Or "Get this! You won't believe this!"
Give us lame storytellers a chance!
By the way, we all do it. Despite our best intentions, we find ourselves in situations with certain people where we just have to outdo them. Thank you to the great listeners of the world. I will try to be better.
21 March 2008
Cake
I love cake. It is one of the great food groups. I like fruits and vegetables. Potatoes and carrots, strawberries and bananas, avocado and tomato. But cake is just so good. Some people get excited over having cake and ice cream. They seem to want the ice cream more and the cake is just some sort of filler. For me, it is the opposite. Ice cream is disgusting.
Well, I won't go that far. Ice cream is pretty good. But cake is where it is at. I can eat cake without the frosting even. Of course it has to be pretty good cake. Really moist. But if the frosting is there, it can really make for an enjoyable eating experience. The combination of the cold fork slicing through, gathering a portion of frosting and cake along with the backing of the plate as support make the experience. Just doing that step alone is significant. Putting it in the mouth is good too. But you have to have that first step to make that second step really work.
And this is where the true problem cake comes in. Problem cake? What sort of problem cake could there possibly be?
Cupcake! The poorest cake eating experience there is.
I am not sure who came up with this, but it was not thought out very well. The paper on the bottom is annoying and it seems wasteful. Everytime I have to eat it, I have to peel it off the bottom. It is like eating a banana or an orange, but with fruit there is some health benefit at the end. If I am going to eat something bad for me, it should be as simple as popping it in. Don't make me work for it!
Then, there is the frosting. I always have to lick it off the top. I have been doing that since I was little. I cannot eat it along with the cupcake. It's too tall. The frosting will get all over my face. And if I go for the frosting-face scenario, the cupcake is just big enough that it takes 3 or 4 bites to finish. And, without a plate and fork, I am totally lost.
When I lick off the frosting first, there goes the great taste of the cake. The frosting's sweetness is too intense and instead of the symbiotic relationship with the cake, it just detracts from it. I would be okay with eating the cake and then the frosting, but that is near impossible.
The next time someone offers me a cupcake I swear I am really going to...
...shrug and eat it my old, lame way.
Well, I won't go that far. Ice cream is pretty good. But cake is where it is at. I can eat cake without the frosting even. Of course it has to be pretty good cake. Really moist. But if the frosting is there, it can really make for an enjoyable eating experience. The combination of the cold fork slicing through, gathering a portion of frosting and cake along with the backing of the plate as support make the experience. Just doing that step alone is significant. Putting it in the mouth is good too. But you have to have that first step to make that second step really work.
And this is where the true problem cake comes in. Problem cake? What sort of problem cake could there possibly be?
Cupcake! The poorest cake eating experience there is.
I am not sure who came up with this, but it was not thought out very well. The paper on the bottom is annoying and it seems wasteful. Everytime I have to eat it, I have to peel it off the bottom. It is like eating a banana or an orange, but with fruit there is some health benefit at the end. If I am going to eat something bad for me, it should be as simple as popping it in. Don't make me work for it!
Then, there is the frosting. I always have to lick it off the top. I have been doing that since I was little. I cannot eat it along with the cupcake. It's too tall. The frosting will get all over my face. And if I go for the frosting-face scenario, the cupcake is just big enough that it takes 3 or 4 bites to finish. And, without a plate and fork, I am totally lost.
When I lick off the frosting first, there goes the great taste of the cake. The frosting's sweetness is too intense and instead of the symbiotic relationship with the cake, it just detracts from it. I would be okay with eating the cake and then the frosting, but that is near impossible.
The next time someone offers me a cupcake I swear I am really going to...
...shrug and eat it my old, lame way.
15 March 2008
That's Politics, Folks!
Politics are funny. Politics is funny. You know politics. They are funny. It's funny... politics.
We have been mired in scandal lately. The governor of New York had a problem which got exposed to the world. Before this, I did not even know who he was. Now, we know who he is and his wife and the prostitute. We know them by name and can now answer Trivia Pursuit questions about them later on. So here I am one of those shallow people who only find something out after the scandal. And that is politics.
There was this guy named Mc who was really focused and determined to do the best he could. He had such tunnel vision that his personality was almost completely lost. He was awarded for this though. The powers that be saw the extreme value of this individual. Some may have thought of Mc as a noser or kiss-up, but a couple of us think otherwise. He just had a vision of what he was supposed to do and he did it. The individuals around him did not matter as much. They only mattered in the way that he could teach them to do work like him.
While I would never have gone about things the way Mc did I think I am reaching the point where I can respect him for what he did accomplish. And he is certainly remembered among many people for his extremism.
The politics affected Mc in an unusual way. They didn't affect him. He still maintained his focus. He was still as difficult a person to talk to as ever. But he had the position of authority, the most glamorous position of the organization. Many people would get that position and use it for show. They would constantly be looking to look better and go for the praise. As far as I could tell, Mc had no such appreciation for the adulation. Nothing he did made him look any better or made everyone feel anymore comfortable.
In an actual, political world, how would Mc do? Imagine a governor, a congressperson, a president who just did the work at hand. Imagine someone being there you respected but didn't really like.
14 March 2008
Greatness Index Proposal
"The suspense is killing me. I hope it'll last."
How can they do remakes of great movies? Or songs? Or whatever? I have this rule which states:
If you are not going to do it better than the first one, don't do it!
What is so hard about this rule?
We were in the car listening to the radio the other day and heard the most boring version of Forever Young ever. It was totally dull. I have no idea who it was, but if I find out, they lose a notch. Alphaville would be turning over in their grave. And they may not even be the original authors of the song, but they did make it great.
With music, there are always people doing remakes. U2 did I Am the Walrus. I suppose that was not so horrible, but it was still kind of lame. There were two movies which came out about the same time where they did Twist and Shout, a song that just sucks to begin with. Okay. Enough on the Beatles. (The movies were Back to School and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.)
Psycho. They did the exact same movie. They changed about a half percent of it. How can Vince Vaughn live with himself after that? Don't they realize that they are just duplicating something that cannot be duplicated?
I think there needs to be a meter on greatness and once a movie has achieved a certain perfection then it cannot be redone. Once it makes it on that list, that's it. People have to see the original or they do not get to see it redone. No laziness here! Then, what does that do? It forces the movie industry to come up with... Oh no! Not that! Originality?! What is that?
So I propose the Greatness Index, a list of movies which they cannot redo. And much like the writer's strike I want actors to join with me on this great cause. May the classics remain. May the new interpretation not be allowed... May originality be the new norm.
The start of the proposed list:
How can they do remakes of great movies? Or songs? Or whatever? I have this rule which states:
If you are not going to do it better than the first one, don't do it!
What is so hard about this rule?
We were in the car listening to the radio the other day and heard the most boring version of Forever Young ever. It was totally dull. I have no idea who it was, but if I find out, they lose a notch. Alphaville would be turning over in their grave. And they may not even be the original authors of the song, but they did make it great.
With music, there are always people doing remakes. U2 did I Am the Walrus. I suppose that was not so horrible, but it was still kind of lame. There were two movies which came out about the same time where they did Twist and Shout, a song that just sucks to begin with. Okay. Enough on the Beatles. (The movies were Back to School and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.)
Back to Movies
Why would you remake Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Force people to see the original, because they are not going to see anything better.
King Kong is just the best. What does Peter Jackson do? He does an homage to the original by including everything he could from the original plus adding his own pukefest. I think Peter just lost it when he did Return of the King. He figured the audience wants to be in the theater seeing people say farewell for hours and hours.
Psycho. They did the exact same movie. They changed about a half percent of it. How can Vince Vaughn live with himself after that? Don't they realize that they are just duplicating something that cannot be duplicated?
I think there needs to be a meter on greatness and once a movie has achieved a certain perfection then it cannot be redone. Once it makes it on that list, that's it. People have to see the original or they do not get to see it redone. No laziness here! Then, what does that do? It forces the movie industry to come up with... Oh no! Not that! Originality?! What is that?
So I propose the Greatness Index, a list of movies which they cannot redo. And much like the writer's strike I want actors to join with me on this great cause. May the classics remain. May the new interpretation not be allowed... May originality be the new norm.
The start of the proposed list:
- Star Wars IV - VI (They can remake I - III all they want)
- Jaws (just the first one)
- Apocalypse Now
- The Wizard of Oz
- The Matrix (just the first one. No excuse for the sequels)
Lots of controversy already I can tell. People are just chomping at the bit to get a CG Jaws in there...
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