16 April 2017

The Nerf Chronicles

I was really nervous.  I had trouble sleeping the night before.  I did not really know which direction I should go.  I started feeling angst.  I wondered why they put me in charge.



My son was having his birthday party and I was in charge of the Nerf gun war.

I have been in plenty of Nerf gun wars thanks to my Uncle.  It has traditionally been a gigantic melee where everyone is running around inside my parents' house shooting Nerf darts at each other.  I think my sister was the youngest at age 25 when this started.  My uncles, aunts and parents have all been involved in these wars.  It was not uncommon for another uncle to bring a date and this was her introduction to the family.  

And this started back when the Nerf guns were relatively new.  They had the suction cup ends to them and they didn't hurt that much.  It was not uncommon to have misfires and not a lot of power.  And the darts stick to my bald head.  Now the new types hurt.

But this was something new.  I was never in charge of the family one.  With my son's party, I didn't really know how to act.  Am I a referee? Am I supposed to yell at the kids to only shoot below the belt?  Or below the knees? Avoid the face?  No headshots?  All of these questions have an instinctive no to them, but with different kids, it is hard to be sure.

I asked my son what he thought the games should be like and he had this idea about having a timer bomb that they were trying to retrieve.  Three teams of three.  One is defending the bomb.  One is trying to get to the bomb. And the other team is trying to make sure the bomb goes off?  I never quite understood what the last team was supposed to do.

After my son told me this, I was thinking that this was way too complicated for a group of kids who just want to shoot each other with Nerf guns.  But later, I found out I was wrong.

My wife advertised that we would supply Nerf darts and goggles and Nerf guns if they needed them.  She said she would just get goggles at the Dollar Store.  And I am thinking Dollar Goggles?  I was concerned about that claim.  She texted me the day before suggesting a couple different types.  I said she should just get sunglasses.  She liked that idea, so she found some nice dollar wrap around sunglasses.  All they needed now were leather jackets and thick Austrian accents.

When the party got there, I was still sort of wondering how to go about it.  We opened presents and ate cupcakes first.  Most of the kids brought Nerf guns as presents.  I was busy repairing one of our Nerf guns while the kids started playing in the playground area. When I fixed it, I decided to go in with my Nerf gun and be a target for them.  I didn't want to upstage my son.  I wanted him to have fun, but I wanted the others to as well.  Being a common target, the old guy who has it coming, was a lesson I learned years ago from my father when the Kid Attack happened at a family reunion.

That worked out for a bit, but then we decided to split up into two teams and do my son's idea. I would do the timer bomb, the timer being my cell phone and a cupcake being the bomb.  We started that, but then the kids took off utilizing the whole school instead of just the fenced off playground.  It made no sense.  And it was a windy day. Now that I think about it, I guess I hijacked it.    

I suggested we bring it in to just the fenced off playground area and we have two teams each trying to get to the cupcake.  If you get shot by a Nerf dart, you have to respawn at your base.  This seemed like a pretty good idea.  The cupcake was at the top of a jungle gym tower sort of thing and each team would go for it.  After a couple rounds of this, it became apparent that the kids were ditching their Nerf guns in order to get the cupcake, which makes sense since a Nerf gun just slows you down.  And as long as they were fast enough to avoid getting hit, they could easily get the cupcake. I am amazed at how kids can be so clever and come up with new and different ways to win.

However, I had to step in again and say that each kid has to carry their Nerf gun. Otherwise, we are getting away from the Nerf war concept. (Kind of strange that a peaceful solution was not in my best interest here...)

Another kid showed up at this time so this allowed me to step off the field and let it just be the kids.  They played a couple more rounds of Get the Cupcake Bomb before they wanted a new game.  I suggested just the melee, but they wanted some really sophisticated stuff.  They had this whole role-play concept down.  They voted to do a Zombie type thing.  And if they are hit, then, like a zombie they have to slow down.  Slow down?  Are they supposed to groan also?  If they capture someone, do they start biting their legs and arms?  They wanted to use the whole school grounds and play with these really complicated sets of rules.  

I was impressed, but they lost me.  I was out of their league.  They were ready for headshots with Rick and the gang and I am still thinking: "Wouldn't you prefer a simple game of chess?" 

All in all, I feel that it was successful. I believe that leaving kids to play on their own is probably the best way.  I still brought in my input, which I think gave some more simple and basic game play.  My goal is for it to work best for the most kids possible.

I guess what sums it up best was a lady who saw me playing with them and asked if this was my son's party.  I said it was and she said: "Bless you." I probably gave her a funny look.   

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