Almighty Golf

When I saw Caddyshack as a young boy, I really thought golf was cool.  Despite the fact that they were ripping on the establishment, the country club aspect and the lameness of the rich, I really thought that golf had something to offer me.

For years, I tried to learn what I could about the game.  There is certainly a mystique around the game of golf.  Guys get together and they have to wear collared shirts and they can't step in each other's lines.  White glove on the left hand.  Michael Jackson?

I suppose I have felt sort of like Jay Gatsby, who thought he could be part of the rich by assimilating into its culture of parties and excess.  Only instead of flappers and top hats I am reminded that I need to shut up when someone is swinging and let the guy whose ball is furthest away go first even though he just stepped into the bushes to take a leak.

I had one good friend who wanted to go golfing all the time with me.  And we went to the cheesiest and cheapest course in town.  He beat me every single time.  But it was fun and inexpensive with no pressure to be good or flip out because my shot is hooking or fading or whatever.  This is how I think golf should be for me.  (Granted, I will flip out when playing volleyball but that's another story...)

I don't want to offer up my firstborn on the altars of golf. The country club temples are a little much.  And, I don't want to dress up in the priestly robes of Nike nor use the PING clubs to slice out the heart of the fairway.  

I want to have my thrift store cleats and my second hand clubs from the 1980s with socks on the drivers.  

I am not saying I want to be Happy Gilmore or even Al Czervyk.  

But being the ball with Ty Webb in his blindfold is the kind of golf I am shooting for.  Nananananana...