I am ready for diapers...
I think I am anyway. The other night was extremely cold, so I let Forrest sleep in the garage. I set up the Heat Dish in there and tied his leash to the railing. We bought him a $10 pillow from Cal Ranch, so it seemed like everything should work out well.
I had a tough time sleeping, mainly because of the Heat Dish being on all night. It was pretty safe, but still with Forrest, it made things unpredictable. The next morning I got up and let him out as soon as I woke up. I really did not notice anything out of the ordinary. His pillow looked a little wet, like he got real slobbery on it. I turned off the Heat Dish and went back to bed.
A few hours later, I decided to go shovel the driveway. When I passed Forrest's sleeping spot I noticed that he had in fact chewed off the corner of the pillow. On closer inspection, I discovered that in the night Forrest had crapped. The slobber all over the pillow was not slobber, but poop. It was on the underside and fused with the cold cement garage floor. It was a moment of anger and frustration with how a dog can be so lame...
Now, Forrest is a pretty big dog, so when he goes to the proverbial restroom, it is usually a double or triple flusher. After a week, when I scoop the poop in the backyard, we need to rent a backhoe to lift the poop bag out and place it in a trash can. So this garage dookie was all over the place.
When I assessed the situation later on, I realized that I really did not give Forrest a whole lot of options. In my effort to save him from the cold, I put him on a very short leash with a water dish in walking distance, a pillow, stairs and not much else. I was not even thinking about the bathroom situation. Thinking back, the time I went out to see him before I went to bed, he really wanted out. I think that was the signal that he had to go and not that he wanted to escape. How could I know this since he is an outside dog? But now, it does make sense. So, the situation is not without logic. Maybe I am the lame one.
So I scooped up as much as I could with a towel and threw that away. Then, the pillow. I threw that away. Paper Towels. Threw away. But the fused poop to the cold cement? What about that? I had to go in and get a bucket of warm water with a rag. This I did a couple times. It is now the cleanest spot on the whole garage floor.
How does this make me ready for diapers? My thinking on this is that I have a big fear of the whole dirty diaper concept. It smells. It's gross. It gets all over the place. I have had a tough enough time handling my own #2 visits... So here I am face to face with dog crap which is the equivalent of probably a week's worth of newborn infant poop. And I overcame it! Even though I wanted to run and hide in a closet full of baby wipes. I can only compare this to the scene in Batman Begins where he embraces the thing he fears the most by being in a cave surrounded by bats.
I am not sure what I am getting at exactly. Am I saying that I am going to be a super hero whose power emanates from the stealthy qualities exhibited by poop? I don't think that is what I am saying, but I think there is definitely a principle here in fighting fire with fire...
Or maybe I am just going to be the best diaper changer ever. People will call me from miles around to change them. Actually, I do not want to be so much of an overachiever...
5 comments:
This is only the beginning. I'll send my kids over for an afternoon and you can try your new found skill...you know, my Dad actually paid my Aunt $20 to change a diaper once.
Still, ready or not...here it comes.
Diapers are a breeze when you have cleaned out a broken restaurant garbage disposal. Diapers at least keep things somewhat contained.
Diapers aren't bad, it's the puke that gets to me. Not the little white pukes from infants, mind you, it's the big pink ones after they start eating real food.
With Forrest, you may consider using a crate. Get one just big enough so he can curl up to sleep. It will instinctively become the "den." And, from my understanding dogs don't poop in the den. We've never had problems with Zoe in her crate.
I second Rhetts recomendation. Plus, you can get a heat mat for the crate if you want to.
In terms of diapers, start training your gag reflex now so that you have an excuse when the time comes. Due to our situation, there were not many months of diapers, but what there were, I did not come close to them. I avoided any situation where I may have been alone with my son and he had not crapped in the last couple of hours. I just overcompensated on other help around the house and with him at night and we had an understanding that #2 was not for Daddy. I know this will completely piss off all of the new-age mothers out there, but oh well...there are things for Dad and things for Mom in my book.
Come on, diapers aren't that bad. After changing 7+ a day it will just become a part of life. Much like "sleeping when the baby sleeps" and burping after each meal. :)
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