In less than a week, I find out the gender of my first child. My wife wants a girl and I suppose I want a boy. I keep denying this wish, but I guess it is there, deep down. I think it is somewhat natural to want to have a child of your own gender so you can have some trace of identifiability. But perhaps there is a myth in thinking that there will actually be this link of understanding between the two of us. I have great nieces which help sway me to the female vote.
But, isn't there something to be said about teaming up against Mom in the cause of spilling food on our shirts? Won't it be better for us both to have innocent looks on our face when accused of the poor condition of the front of the toilet? We could shift the blame on each other and have an understanding that the vagueness of who is actually guilty matters little in comparison to the comraderie of having the same ailment. And won't it be great to have someone with the same "competitive spirit" to take games, puzzles and tv watching into the wee hours of the morning?
Yeah, I guess I do want a boy. It's what I know. And I think my wife wants a girl for the same reason. But I know that whatever, whoever our baby is, there will be a newness to it all that makes the experience joyful.
However, I suspect that being a boy is not the same as raising one, so I can say it is what I know, but I am a fool for making any such assumption.
So let me restate: I want a boy, because I am a boy and I think that sometimes I will be able to look into his eyes and know that he has crapped his pants, because I have been there. I feel safe with that.
3 comments:
Deep down, until you have a boy (which I don't have yet), you hope to have a boy because I think it's nature for a man to want to have him carry on the name, and allow you to take that boy and mold him into whatever you wished you were or could have been when you were a kid. (DOH! I wasn't supposed to say that). Each time my wife was pregnant, deep down I had this desire for a boy, but when those girls come out to greet me they take their hands, wrap it around my finger and it's all good. The only thing that keeps me wanting another kid is to get a boy. I need someone I can teach Hockey too, without guilt or being worried that I'll hurt her. I think a boy is what you'll wish for till you get one, but you'll never be disappointed in having a girl.
Oh, honey! You're so cute!! Now I might just want a boy, too!!
I suppose that the choice of a Gender is more phycological than we think. I (when I think about my future baby gender wishes) want a boy first. Maybe, deep down I feel that I will get the boy version of Josef that I never met. I view baby pictures of him and feel such a great love for that sweet swedish blonde boy. He is now just a grown up version, but I insist on seeing his traits of his boyhood recreated so I may share in them.
I suppose having a boy would be like seeing a young version of yourself. So fresh and innocent, like nothing that we are now familiar with.
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